Silent Prayers

Chapter 20

It had been two weeks since Stefan had come to rehab, and he was feeling more and more optimistic each day. While he still would not attend group therapy, he eagerly attended all of his individual sessions which he had scheduled daily. He was learning a lot of really interesting coping skills that he was sure would help him stay sober.

"Dr. Erickson" Stefan greeted as he strolled into the psychologist's office with his notebook in hand. Stefan took his usual seat in the chair across from the desk. "I did the homework from yesterday. You know, the three feelings I feel right before I start drinking."

Dr. Erickson nodded, but did not smile his usual friendly smile. "That's good to hear, Stefan" he told him. "Before we get started today, there is something I need to talk with you about."

His expression was solemn, and it worried Stefan. "Is everything alright?" Stefan asked, eying a folder the psychologist was holding. He suddenly was not feeling so excited about therapy.

Dr. Erickson opened his mouth to reply and was at a loss for words. Which was not usually the case. Then he sighed. "These came for you this morning" he said, passing Stefan the folder.

Nervously, Stefan opened it, dumping out the contents. There were a lot of documents, some clipped together and some not. But on the first page in large black letters was the word divorce. Stefan was unable to read the rest of the page, but he pretended to so he could stall for just a little bit longer. The psychologist's eyes were on him, observing and recording. Stefan hated that. "She wants a divorce" Stefan finally whispered, his mouth dry and scratchy. He held the papers in shaky hands, still pretending to read over the information.

Dr. Erickson nodded. "Yes, she does" he confirmed. "I am very sorry, Stefan" he said in a genuine voice.

Stefan felt the first sign of tears and the familiar ache in his chest. "What happens ... if I don't sign these?" Stefan asked slowly. Could he prevent Elena from leaving him? More importantly, could he do that to her? Refuse her something she wanted?

Dr. Erickson looked at Stefan matter of factly. "I would imagine that in this situation, the judge would sign the papers for you and grant Elena the divorce" he said, answering honestly.

Stefan winced when the psychologist mentioned the "situation" because it was one Stefan had created. The one where he had drank himself stupid and broke her wrist. The one where he believed he had hurt Elena beyond repair. Stefan stood suddenly. "I ... I ... I don't feel like ... I need to go back to my room" he said, his voice failing to hide the fact that he was so upset and on the verge of crying.

"When you're ready to talk" Dr. Erickson told him, empathizing with his pain.

Stefan gripped the papers in his hands tightly as he left the office and walked down the empty hallway. With every step he took, he felt like he was walking further and further away from Elena. It was stupid to think he could fix things between them after what he had done.

He did not even make it back to his room before the tears began to flow freely. Once inside his room, he slammed the door shut and sank to the floor.

XXXX

"Damnit Elena, call me!" Damon bit into the phone. "It's been two weeks since I've heard from you. If you don't call me back in half an hour, I'm calling the police" he threatened. Then he punched the screen to end the call, slamming the phone down on the table. He was fuming mad at her. What gave her the right to just take off and not talk to him anymore? He was worried sick about her.

The front door slowly opened and when Damon turned his head to look, he saw her sneaking in with a guilty look on her face. "Thank God" he said, standing from the couch. "Do you know how worried I have been?" he practically shouted. "What the hell, Elena?" he asked, waving his hands around to illustrate just how mad he was. He knew she was having a difficult time dealing with what happened with Stefan, but so was he.