January. // z.m. au

Chapter 43

Go Slow | Haim

As much as I tried to get over it, tried to ignore it, I just couldn't. It'd been eating me alive since the day I'd visited Zayn's home. There was nothing more to it than pure curiosity and I really wanted to know what Doniya had been speaking about.

The easiest thing for me to would be to ask Zayn straight up what happened but the past was the past and I felt that it was highly unnecessary to bring it back up again. I mean, it was in the past for a reason, it ended for a reason, so what was the big deal really? Maybe it was the fact that Zayn's sister had directly, somewhat spoke to me about it, I wasn't exactly sure, but I found myself interested either way.

And I would try to think of other things beside that but it was hard not to. Especially when it was nipping at the back of my mind and nearly slipping off of the tip of my tongue. But I had to remind myself that this wasn't my place and if Zayn wanted to let me know, then he'd let me know. Didn't mean I couldn't be curious along the way.

"She only chews on her bottom lip if she's nervous," I heard Alexa tell Grace from the other side of the table we sat at.

I suddenly stopped doing just that and frowned, "M'not biting my lip," I mumbled. No, I definitely wasn't doing that. And no I definitely wasn't nervous. Well, at least I wouldn't classify it as that. I didn't know what to call it.

"You were," Grace raised an eyebrow. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," I quickly dismissed what she'd said. Because it really was nothing if you really thought about it. The thing was I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was torture, just in a less painful way.

"You have been awfully quiet today. We're at your favorite yogurt shop and you've barely said anything."

Alexa was right, I had been quiet but the thing was I didn't mean to be. I didn't know why this was taking such a toll on me in the first place, I just wanted to know what happened and I wanted Zayn to know that whatever did happen wouldn't repeat itself. I hope his sister's words weren't sinking in and he knew it too.

I huffed, running a hand through my brown hair. "Okay, remember how I met Zayn's mum and his older sister last week?" My friends both nodded letting me know to continue, "well, his sister brought up something about his last relationship -- apparently it didn't go too well -- and was, like, warning me I guess. Then I heard her and Zayn talking and she said something like she didn't want our relationship to end up like his last, and. I -- I don't know, it's really stupid. It's nothing."

"Well what happened?" Grace asked, leaning forward with her elbows on top of the table.

"I wish I knew. That's the problem."

"You don't think she, like, cheated on him or something?" Grace quizzed in a worried tone.

"I really hope not. That's a shit thing to do."

I'd never been cheated on before and hopefully I never would be, but just the thought of somebody doing that to Zayn made my stomach drop intensely. I mean, who in their right mind would cheat on Zayn? I didn't even think I had the heart to yell at him just yet. So the possibility of that happening to Zayn put me on edge. And I know it happened almost two years ago like I heard him say, but still. It would still suck knowing someone would do that to you. Especially if you truly believed it would work out.

"It could be weird asking him about it, too." Alexa muttered. It was weird even thinking about it, honestly.

"I wish I could stop thinking about it," I mumbled to myself, stirring what yogurt was left around in its cup. Hopefully I'd stop thinking about it.