January. // z.m. au

Chapter 17

I Must Be Dreaming | The Maine

Gentle hands pushed me against the door of his car. My breaths had just started to slow and regulate but were now picking up their pace again. Two large hands were placed on either side of my head. I gulped loudly, my tongue darting out to wet the surface of my trembling lips. Was it finally my time? Were my prayers just now being answered?

I watched him cautiously. His lips were slightly parted, the heat from his breath hitting my face. His eyes never strayed from mine, they watched me like I'd soon disappear into thin air. But I didn't mind. He could watch me for days and I still wouldn't have a problem with it.

His eyes traveled from my green ones slowly down my face until they landed on my lips. He took one hand off of the window it rested on and brought it towards my mouth, his thumb trailing against my lower lip. He smirked when I trembled with nerves and desire. Now his hands grazed the top of my arm down to the pads of my fingertips, causing goosebumps to come out from hiding. He played with my fingers for a good minute before he eventually let his sink into the spaces between mine. My hand felt like it was on fire, in a good way, of course.

I took a quick peak at our tangled fingers and brought my gaze back to his beautiful eyes, which happened to be my favorite thing about him. He gave my fingers a light squeeze, then, taking his sweet time, he started to lower his face so it could be closer to mine. I wasn't sure if I was even breathing or not, but I hope I was because I couldn't die when the best thing that would ever happen to me was just about to happen. If only he'd cut to the chase and just do it already. I was growing impatient.

He dipped his head so that it was merely inches from mine; I could feel his lips almost touching me. "I wanna be yours," he said slowly, like honey dripping from its bottle. But before I even had the chance to respond, his mouth was barely pushing against my mouth, and then we kis--

I woke up, knots in my hair, sweat on my mouth -- I was burning. My fingers trailed over my lips as if I could feel someone else's on mine. Unfortunately for me, no one's had been placed there, no one's at all. It was all a dream; I never wanted to cry so hard in my life.

My eyebrows fell into a frown. Why did bad things happen to good people? Surely I hadn't done anything wrong, so why was I being treated this way? Did the world hate this much that it didn't even want to let me fulfill my fantasies? That it didn't want me to live my life how I wanted to?

I hated everything. I hated that I had a dream, a really, really, really, nice dream about Zayn finally kissing me. I hated how I wanted to kiss him this bad, but mostly, I hated how I just didn't have the guts to do it myself. I was in a I-hate-the-world-don't-look-at-me kind of mood, and I meant it.

I must've frowned at the white walls in my bedroom for a long time because my face was starting to hurt from scrunching it so hard. I was just mad; mad at the world, mad at life.

Life sucks.

About ten minutes had passed and I'd finally given up at scowling at the wall because, after all, what had an inanimate object such as this wall done to me? Absolutely nothing. I ripped the covers off of my body angrily, throwing them to the floor. I stomped my feet against the hard wood floors and marched my way to the bathroom. If I were still living at home with my mum she'd be scolding me about my odd and childlike behavior right now. But she wasn't here and I didn't live with her anymore so I could do whatever I wanted to with no interruptions. Except for unwanted phone calls...

I sighed loudly and dramatically as I dragged my way to where my phone was plugged into its charger in the wall. It was Tina. I honestly didn't want to answer but she was my manager so I kinda had to. Damn.