January. // z.m. au

Chapter 15

Jealous. Zayn was jealous and that was the only conclusion I could come to when he asked me about Liam. It was funny though because I literally had only known Liam for a day, not even that, so he really had no reason to be jealous. Unless...no. No, he didn't like me in that way. I was just a really good friend to him, right? I mean, there had to be something there or else we wouldn't be where we were now, right?

God, I hated boys and their confusing ways. I hated crushes and guys with tattoos and facial hair who wore leather jackets and looked like fucking male models fresh off the runway.

Okay, maybe I didn't hate those things, but I did hate these feelings. I hated doing all of this and not being able to act upon my thoughts without knowing the circumstances. I wanted to know what Zayn felt; what he felt for me, about us. I just wanted to be inside his head for a day.

I could always ask him or even tell him how I felt exactly, but I felt as if it were too soon. There was still a lot we had to learn about each other. I still had to explore his mind and find out his ways. I wanted to find out what he liked and what he disliked, what annoyed him and what put him in a good mood. I wanted to find out what he couldn't live without and what he could, but most of all I wanted to find out where we would stand one day.

If only it were that easy.

***

"Come on, Alexa," I begged, knocking on her door once more.

I was stood outside of her bedroom, where she'd locked herself in, trying to get her to open up. She was still mad at me (which I didn't understand why) and all I wanted to do was apologize or something. But she was being her typical stubborn self, so that wasn't much help.

I wished that Grace was here so she could try to persuade Alexa in some way, but she wasn't, unfortunately. I was left to fend for myself.

"Alexa, if you don't open this door I swear to Go--"

"You suck," was the first thing to fall out of her mouth once the door flew open. "Like, you really suck. Go away."

I laughed a little, Alexa scowled at me like there was no tomorrow, and I laughed once more even though I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it.

"Why are you here?" she questioned sourly, her eyes shooting daggers my way.

"Because you're mad at me and you really have no reason to be and I just want to say that I'm sorry even though I shouldn't be because I'm a good friend."

"Good friends don't leave their friends for some guy they're in love with." she spat and now I was the one glowering at her.

I wasn't in love with Zayn anyway, just very smitten.

"Oh, come off it, Lex. I was sitting alone at a bar. I didn't even want to go in the first place. What kind of friends drag their other friend to do something they don't want to?"

"Just face it, Jan, you'd rather be around your precious little Zayn than with me."

I rolled my eyes because one, she couldn't be serious, and two, that wasn't true at all. I would never do that to her or Grace ever.

"I get it. You're all about Zayn, Zayn, Zayn--that's all you care about nowadays. It isn't fair to me at all."

"What are you even talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" she yelled. "You don't even think twice about it, you just run straight to Zayn. It's like Grace and I don't even exist to you anymore."

"I'm sorry you feel that way and I truly feel sorry for you if you believe that that's true."

"It is true and you fucking know it, Jan. You know it."