Apathetic |[D.S]| 1

38. it's a nightmare kind of night

We're diving through the bottom of the ocean
Swimming through a bottle of emotions, girl
Maybe I was thinking you would notice
I was runnin' through the forest when I wrote this, girl
...

Lou's POV

"He is right though. I've been dodging seeing him and trying to make it his fault when most of this is mine because I can't handle things as well as he does!" I sigh through the phone hearing Porter let out a huge breath as well.

"You should focus on you first Lou. Don't jump back into anything yet. Take time to breathe and fix your life. Daniel can be in it or not you just need to make that decision." Porter says and I nod as if he can see me but it's only my voice he can hear.

"I know Ports it's just," I lean against my bathroom door, "It just feels weird without seeing him."

"It'll get better Lulu. Trust me on this one you need time. I've gotta get back to practice but we can talk later tonight if you want?" Porter offers and I tell him that would be great before hanging up and heading into the kitchen to make myself dinner.

It's been practically two weeks since I last saw Daniel. It's already November and my mind can't comprehend how fast this year is going by. I've been struggling these past weeks in art and photography. All that I can draw is him or things that give me little reminders.

Whether it's a white rose, palm trees, his hands, his face everything leads back to our last fight. I know Daniel is right. He has been through so much and I wish I could help but he won't let me back in anymore.

He deleted my number basically blocked me. Has been dodging me around campus and hasn't been showing up to art and photography. I'm quite sure he has changed his hours of class just because of me.

I'm worried but at the same time, Porter thinks this is good for me. A break where I can focus on myself and school. I need to get done with the things that I should've taken care of a while ago.

After eating dinner I head back into my room and brush my teeth. Changing my clothes into my blue tie-dyed sweatpants and putting on a white long sleeve shirt. Then I wash my face and get ready for bed. I notice my ukulele hanging on the wall that my mom got me for decoration. She never knew that I played in high school since she moved. I pluck it off the wall and close my bathroom door, sit in the bathtub and begin to play.

I don't really want Kayla to hear me sing. She might not even be here it's Wednesday and her club outings go on for way later then they used too.

Speaking of Wednesday, Daniel doesn't come over anymore. We don't make dinner because I'm already working at the perennial cafe. I'm pretty much on campus the entire day except when I get off from work.

After playing for a bit and singing songs by Charlie Puth and random tunes I finally get out of the bathroom and set my ukulele back up on the wall.