Don't Tell Mom- Demi Lovato

[75] Double

CHAPTER 75- Double

Demi's POV 

        Wilmer and I hugged for a bit longer, then walked downstairs to where Izzy sat on the couch, alone. 

"Hey baby." I said, sitting next to her and pulling my legs to my chest. 

"Hi." Izzy said, looking up at me with a smile. 

I was still nervous about how she would react about news of the twins, so I decided to warm her up a bit.

"Did Saffy go home?" 

She nodded, "Yeah, she got picked up about five minutes ago." 

I bit my lip as the silence continued, "She seems like a nice girl Iz, I'm glad you're making more friends." 

Izzy nodded, "Yeah... She's great. We get along really good." 

I smiled and bit my lip, looking to Wilmer who shrugged. 

"Okay what is it?" Izzy broke the silence and looked at the both of us, "You both are looking extremely guilty about something so it's time to cut the shit." 

I gulped and nodded, "Babygirl... I want you to know that I love you so much. We both do, and this doesn't change anything about how much I care about you or the progress we've made." 

Izzy rolled her eyes, "Mom just say it." 

"Twins." 

I held my breathe, both Wilmer and I watching Izzy's expression carefully as she processed the news. 

She said one word before getting up and walking upstairs. 

"Great." 

~*Izzy's POV*~

        Twins. Fucking twins. 

I let out a groan as I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling. Of course it'd be twins. God is so punishing me right now. 

You know what this means right? 

I rubbed my hands through my hair and buried my face into my hands. My nails dug into my wrists as I began to breathe heavily. 

It's going to be double. Everything that you thought was going to happen is doubled. 

You think she'll forget about you? HA. You'll be nothing but a memory a month in. 

You think she'll be able to spend less time with you? I'd give it two minutes before she's running back to those babies. 

My heart was pounding in my ears and I let out a whimper. My palms were itching for a blade to numb all of the voices. 

Suddenly, I felt arms pulling me into someone's body and my nose was filled with my mom's perfume. I grabbed onto her and sobbed into her shoulder. 

"I can't... I c- Mom help me! I can't BREATHE!" I screamed out, clutching my head. 

"Izzy baby I need you to listen to me. Listen to my voice babygirl. Calm down. You need to let it pass. You're okay. Nothings going to happen. I'm here. Mommy's here. I've got you." 

More strangled sobs left my mouth as I tried to focus on calming down. 

"What the hell is happening?!" My dad burst into the room and my heart began to race again. 

"Wilmer! Get out! You're making it worse!" My mom snapped at him, pulling me protectively into her chest and leaned down to my ear, "Come on  baby, it's okay. I've got you just breathe with me." 

I tried desperately to match my breathing with hers and it began to work once she started singing. 

Sometimes you think you'll be fine by yourself 

Cause a dream is a wish you make on your own. 

It's easy to feel, like you don't need help. 

But it's harder to walk on your own. 

You'll change inside, when you realize. 

The world comes to life, and every things bright. 

From beginning to end, when you have a friend by your side. 

That helps you to find the beauty you are when you open your heart. 

And believe in, the gift of a friend. 

        By the end of the chorus, I was staring numbly at the wall, snuggled into her side as she stroked my hair. 

"What happened babygirl?" She murmured, smoothing my locks of dirty blonde against my head. 

"I don't know." I answered honestly, and she turned to face me. 

"You were triggered." She said in a quiet, sad voice, and looked into my eyes with such an intensity that I couldn't help but look away. 

"How do you know that." I muttered, staring at my hands. 

My mom lifted my chin with her fingertips, "Because when I came in here and saw you on the bed, I saw  myself when I was seventeen, too consumed by the voices to even think about anything else. It was like a flashback." 

i sighed, "Oh." 

My mom clicked her tongue and pulled me close, "Come here, I'm so sorry babygirl I didn't want you to get so upset." 

I shook my head, "It's not something you can control mom. I'm not mad at you... I just..." I sighed, "I'm scared." 

She kissed the top of my forehead, "I know babe, I'm scared too." 

I bit my lip, "I'm scared you're gonna forget again. That you're gonna forget me because you have two babies who are cuter and aren't fucked up in the head, they have their entire lives ahead of them to not be one huge disappointment." 

My mom pulled my head up so our eyes met and spoke fiercely, "Listen to me, you listen to me right now okay?" I nodded, afraid to not respond by the way she was looking at me, "You are wrong. You are not fucked up in the head babygirl, and you are not a disappointment. It is not your fault that you are going through this right now. If anything it's mine. I'm the one who passed on the genes to you." 

My brow furrowed, "Mom what are you talking about?" 

She sighed, "Izzy I'm bipolar. There's a greater chance you are too or that you have a greater risk of mental illness. Darling you're absolutely perfect. I don't want you to be any other way. And I will never forget you, or push you aside. I promise. I know I've made some shitty promises in the past but I'm gonna be here for you baby, whenever you need me okay?" 

I nodded and pushed my face into her neck, it was silent for a moment as she gently ran her nails up and down my back as I listened to her breathing. 

"I love you Izzy." She whispered, and kissed the side of my temple. 

"I love you too mom." 

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-Rachel