Don't Tell Mom- Demi Lovato

[86] Free

Izzy

Warning: This chapter is the final chapter and will contain thoughts of suicide along with an attempt. Please do not read if this will trigger you in any way.

My drug haze was getting more and more cloudy. I was no longer caring how much I took, no longer reading what if was. I just wanted the high, the numbness, to lose the pain. I wanted nothing more than to find something that could take it all away. I wanted to be free from the hardships, free from the struggles of simply getting out of bed and doing life. I wanted to be free from the demons inside my head and to be free from the nagging feeling I felt in my chest that I didn't belong here. I felt it when my parents and I sat down to eat, with my mom's rounded belly touching the table. They would be so much happier without me. It felt it when I was with Saffy as I spoke to her about how I was feeling, I knew she was getting tired of me, and didn't want to deal with the burden on being my friend anymore. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in my bed and let life pass me by.

~*~

"You owe me the fucking money Valderrama." My drug dealer, Mark snarled at me through the phone.

"I know, but my parents have been getting suspicious so I just needed to lay low for a while, okay? I'll get you the money tonight." I reassured him, but it was all lies. I couldn't give him the money because I needed it for the alcohol I was paying the homeless guy to buy for me. Since I was under twenty one, and so high-profile, it wasn't easy for me to just get a fake iD. This was the next best option.

"You better. Don't think because of your status that I'll keep letting this slide. One way or another, you'll pay." With that, he hung up the phone.

I sat on my bed and buried my head into my hands. I couldn't just ask my parents for the money, that would be crazy. They'd ask what it was for, and then I'd have to come up with a lie and it could all crumble down and blow up in my face if my story wasn't perfect. I stood up and walked quietly to the window, seeing both of my parent's cars gone. Perfect. I practically ran into my parents room and into my mom's closet. She usually kept a few hundred dollars in here that wouldn't be missed. I opened up the jewelry box and lifted the wood panel at the bottom. Sitting there, was a wad of hundred dollar bills. I quickly grabbed five, then stowed the box safely away to where it was before, then ran back to my room. I pulled on a hoodie, then walked out the door.

The alleyway was dark, as usual, but tonight it seemed especially creepy. The usual drunks that spread out were now huddled together and talking quietly. The meth heads weren't grinning madly like usual, but staring straight ahead with glassy eyes. I tried not to look at anyone for too long as I made my way to Mark. He was conversing with another guy, older than me, and handed him a bottle of pills, then took a wad of bills from him.

"Isabella." He cooed, as he saw me walking up. "I trust you've upheld our agreement?" I nodded and handed him the money, watching him count it out slowly, "Very good. Now, I trust from your last pickup, you're doing better?"

I nodded, "Your speciality is certainly working wonders." The anti-depressants that Mark had given me were so strong, I felt like I was on a cloud when I took even one of them.

"I have more, if you want to take them off of my hands. Two hundred. It's a stronger dose, but I think your tolerance is okay."

I closed my eyes, knowing I didn't have much of a choice, "Okay." I handed him more money and took the baggie, examining them. "Are you sure these are the same thing? They look completely different."

Mark's lip curled, "Yes."

I cowered a bit in fear, then said goodbye and nearly ran away. Mark was a nice guy, but if you even looked at him the wrong way, it could all go bad. As I walked home, I didn't dare take out the small baggie Mark had given me. Cops around here were always looking for the next drugs bust.