I Was Never Loved

I Was Never Loved- chp 9

Chapter 9

There weren't many people scattered in the hallway when I walked through the school doors. As I walked, I looked around at all the familiar faces but...it wasn't right. A sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach, the sort that left one feeling sick. It wasn't making sense... Why was I at my old school looking at my former schoolmates? As realization struck me, they began to fade, slowly disappearing like wisps of smoke. My eyes travelled to the walls, noticing instantly that they were coming in closer and that the ceiling was getting lower. Back at the top of the hall, there was a...a figure coming closer. It was hard to make out just who the figure was but once it got close enough I had no doubts in my mind. I took an involuntary step back, shaking my head slowly in disbelief. It couldn't be...it just couldn't. My feet kept going 'til I hit the wall, a sign that escape would be impossible. My former boyfriend smirked as he made his way over to me. This was a dream, it couldn't be real. I began pinching myself with furious force but he was still there and I was still pressed against the wall. All my usual tactics were failing me and waking up seemed less like a possibility.

"Kai, where have you been?" He asked, caressing my cheek with the back of his hand. I tried turning my head away but he held it firmly. "I've been looking everywhere for you. You haven't been a good girl." He leaned closer, his menacing presence easily overpowering me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, afraid he would hurt me again. When it came to Derrick, apologies were the safest bet. Everything went faster that way and I got hurt less. It was almost a perfect system.

He smiled. "Good girl." His lips pressed against mine, hungrily working away at them. I began squirming in an attempt to break free, unwilling to go through this again. It should have been over. I'd transferred schools, we never kept in touch. My memory should have been erased by now—there were certainly enough other girls to keep him busy. I tried screaming but the sound was muffled by his lips.

Wake up. Please wake up.

Suddenly there was a loud bang at the other end of the hall that drew our attention immediately. My heart jumped. It was Jayden! Never had I been happier to see him in my life. It didn't matter how he'd gotten there or how he'd known I needed rescuing, the fact he was there was good enough. He walked over to us, grabbed Derrick by his shirt then readied his fist but before he could deliver the blow everything went white. The next thing I knew I was lying in my bed, sweat running down the sides of my face, my breathing rugged and my brother standing at the door. It was for this reason that I tried not to sleep. My dreams were the one place I could never escape my past; it kept coming right back and with haunting force. I tried to recall the events of the night before, wondering what might have triggered this latest trek to the heart of my past. All I could remember was my Mother's voice...not most of the words but definitely the voice. She was cursing me, telling me that I was worthless. That speech had gotten so old that I suppose I must have fallen asleep somewhere before she was done.

Big mistake.

"What are you sorry about?" Matt asked, leaning against the door post, playing the PSP that mom had gotten him for his birthday. He always got nice things.

"Nothing, now what the hell are you doing in my room?" I asked, pulling myself into a sitting position. Thankfully my breathing was beginning to normalize.

"I'm not in your room," He retorted, "but you might want to watch the way you're talking to me. Mom's right down the hall and she just finished a bottle of scotch."

I groaned, throwing my head back on my pillow. My Saturday had barely started and I could tell it would be horrible. A bottle of scotch was all Mother ever needed. My day would need to be spent in my room. The less of me she saw would be the better. If I could somehow manage to stay out of her thoughts until she sobered up I could survive this and that meant kissing Matt's ass if the situation called for it. "I'm sorry..." I mumbled grudgingly.