I Was Never Loved

I Was Never Loved- chp Finale

Finale

Right after the burial Jayden drove us to our new home, with him. I stayed downstairs sitting in the couch while Jayden showed Matt to his new room. I hoped he would like it here because now I was his only family and I had to make an effort to make him comfortable. Jayden came back down the stairs alone and sat beside me.

"I know that it will take some time but I will try everything I can to make you happy." I didn't look at him. He was right it was going to take a long time before I would be happy again. Infact at the moment it didn't even seem possible anymore. Was it even possible for life to go on anymore. . .? Without Lilia . . . without Emi . . .

As was agreed on, Matt did go to the required sessions and we slowly made ourselves family among Jayden's family, which turned out to be huge. He really wasn't kidding when he said he was surrounded by family. All the house on the property belonged to a relative of his and he promised that once I was up to it he would introduce me to them. He also promised not to push me but instead to let me recover at my own pace.

At the end of the break I dreaded going back to school. I wanted to just quit but Jaydn wouldn't hear of it.

As I walked through the hall I felt like a fish out of water. Somehow in my mind everyone was staring at me, as if they knew everything.

"Hey Kai." Madelyn said as she walked up to me.

I smiled but couldn't bring myself to return the greeting.

"So um when I went on break I saw this cute shirt that I thought would look adorable on your daughter." She said as she pulled a shirt from her bag. A piece of my heart began ripping out. Not only would Emi have looked cute in that but it would have also fit her perfectly. I swallowed hard as I continued staring at the shirt. "What's wrong?" Madelyn asked as soon as she realized that I wasn't going to speak.

"N-nothing . . it's just that sh-she's . . . .dead." I literally choked on the last word. It cut deep to have to describe my baby like that. Madelyn's expression soften.

"Oh no, what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it." I said hastily.

She nodded acceptingly then stretched the shirt towards me. "Well have the shirt anyway." She said with a half smile. " Who knows, you might get another." She continued awkwardly.

Another Emi . . .now there was a thought . . .

That day after school I found myself in the last place I would ever expect to be; Derrick's house. I took a deep breath then rung the doorbell. I didn't have to wait long before he answered the door. When he saw that it was me an arrogant smirk slid unto his face; how repulsive.

"Well well looks who's here. Come in." He said gesturing for me to enter. I took a deep breath then stepped past him. We both walked over to the couch and took a seat.I felt so uncomfortable that I just kept on fidgeting. First of all, Jayden didn't know I was here; I had told someone to tell him that I would meet him at home then I left before he could find me. Second, we were more than likely the only two in the house since his father walked out on him a long time ago and his mom worked long shifts as a nurse at the local hospital.

"So what made you stop by babe?" He asked as he sat next to me, pulled me closer and kissed my neck. A knot formed in my stomach; this really was disgusting, how was I going to be able to go through with this?

"I need your help . . ."

"Well that's refreshing." He said as he looked me in the eyes curiously. "What do you need and what will you give me?"

"Trust me you'll be paid while your doing me the favour." I said, hating my voice the whole time. This was exactly why I was called a whore.

"I'm listening." He said as he sat up in the seat.