metanoia | alec lightwood

19

"Yeah, I'm not seeing it in the Gray Book." Jace sighed as he shut the book, stood in my room the next morning as we had tried to figure out where the hell the sunlight came from when it shot from my palm.

"Jace, this isn't making any sense whatsoever." I set down the drawing I had drew of the rune and reached for the Gray Book, "You sure that doesn't have it in there? Let me check-"

"Zee, I'm sure it's not in here, I look through it twice already." Jace pulled the book away from me and grabbed my hand to stop me, "Some of them are removed- they're reserved for the most elite members of the Clave."

I grimace, "Do I look elite to you?"

"Maybe- you saw it somewhere and you don't remember." Jace lightly shrugged and set down the book, letting go of my hand.

"Jace, I'm telling you- I've never seen it before." I turned away from him, taking a few steps, stressfully running my hands through my hair, "And even if that was the case- that doesn't explain how the rune just self did itself onto my hand."

Jace sighed, "Zee-"

"Jace, I'm serious." I faced him, looking at him in complete sincerity, "In that moment- I had tuned out everything around me, and I felt like someone was drawing a rune onto my palm- but no one was- and I didn't- initiate it-"

"Look, we'll make some sense of this, okay?" Jace assures me, "We just have to keep digging-"

"And how are we going to do that? We've been looking all morning- we've got nothing- we can't find the rune anywhere, Jace- we have no leads." I ripped out the drawing from my sketch book, "Look, I'm just going to go fill Iz and Alec on this, maybe they'll know something we don't-"

"Zee, no- absolutely not," Jace stopped me almost immediately, "If you tell anyone else, they could be in danger, too-"

I grit my teeth, "Jace-"

Jace continued, trying to persuade me, "The Clave is quick to persecute anyone or anything they don't understand."

I stare at him, and swallowed hard, barely nodding, giving into what he was saying, looking away.

A knock on my door made me step back, and Jace to quickly fold the drawing in my hand and slip it into his back pocket, "Come in-"

Isabelle slyly stepped in, looking between Jace and I, "Am I interrupting something?-"

"No, you're not-" I quickly said, looking up at Jace, "Look, we'll talk later, okay?"

Jace nodded lightly and squeezes my arm in comfort, knowing this had set me off the edge, before leaving me alone with Isabelle, closing the door behind him.

"How are you?" Isabelle crosses her arms, looking at me, "You holding up okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" I looked her, "I'm fine-"

"Zee, I know that's not true-" Isabelle lightly shook her head, her voice lowering as if it hurt her to think about this, "I feel when you're off- when you're hurting- and recently it's been- a lot more than usual."

"I'm okay, Iz." I put my sketch book away.

"Are you sure?" I could feel Isabelle's stare on my back, "I mean- it could be- having to go through all that on Valentine's ship- then coming back to- even more of a mess of things-"

"Iz- really, I'm okay." I tried to assure her again, not facing her, not wanting to voice the countless thoughts on my mind.

"You sure it isn't your talk with Alec down at the City of Bones?" Isabelle called me out, my heart stopping when I recalled that conversation.