metanoia | alec lightwood

11

"All I know is, we gotta get you out of here." Alec paced back and forth in front of me as I was seated on the couch, "All right, who do we know in Idris?"

"I'm a Morgenstern." I stare at him as if he the most dense person I knew, "Nobody cares if I get deruned and banished."

"Well, I do." Alec shot back at me, "And your mother, and Isabelle-"

"I meant in Idris, you moron." I shot him a look, slouched, my feet on the table, "There's nothing we can do to get me out of this."

Alec stopped pacing and looked at me, shooting out anything that came to mind, "Uh, what about Lydia?"

I blinked hard and looked at him in annoyance, repeating his words, "Lydia?"

Alec stares at me, "Yeah."

"Lydia isn't doing her job." I used his words towards his parents against him, "The Institute was under her control when Meliron was broken free."

Alec noticed this, sighing deeply, not replying to my remark, "Okay, Lydia-"

"Why do you keep going there?" I suddenly sat up, infuriated with him, "Your- oh so beloved fiancée is prosecuting me."

"She has no choice." Alec looked between my eyes, noticing as my face twisted at his words, "She doesn't."

"Everyone has a choice, Alec." I snipped at him and got up, pausing for a moment, then looking away, "You taught me that."

"Look, I know you don't want to believe this, but- Lydia said she would help if we can give her a way to do it." Alec messes with his hands, "Maybe I can get her to delay the trial."

"What- so, you can buy me a few hours to inundate in self pity until I'm convicted?" I cross my arms, turning my back to him, "Just- let me be deruned and banished in peace."

"I've already lead them to believe that I singlehandedly saved Meliorn." I muttered in a sigh, "I've made sure that Isabelle, Clary and Jace don't get convicted with me."

I was sacrificing myself for these people.

I just, couldn't let them go down with me.

Alec took a step closer to me, "Zee, we will get you out of this, trust me-"

"How, Alec?" I pinch the bridge of my nose, shaking my head, "The Clave is using me as leverage for the Cup. I'm just a pawn to the Inquisitor."

"So- let me buy some time to find it." Alec exhales deeply, grasping at straws at this point, "Hey, Jace and Clary-"

"Disappeared through a door to God knows where, right along with the Cup." I spun to face him, my eyes wide at how he was trying so hard to keep me safe, "See? There went my ticket out of here."

"What if I was wrong?" Alec replied to me, walking closer to me til he stood directly in front of me, "I can't find Jace because I weakened our bond, but that doesn't mean he can't be found, or that he can't find us."

My eyes squint as he sighs, "We need more time."

"You're failing to realize that whatever evidence and accusations they have all point towards me." I turned away from him and sat on the arm of the couch, staring ahead of me, "There's no hope of me now."

"Zee, listen." Alec crouched, placing a hand on my knee, "Ever since I've known you- back then and now, you've always found it in your heart to help me."

My eyes connect with his.

Alec squeezed my knee gently, "Please, let me help you for once."