Time Waster # 3 -- Dates & Divorces

86 3 4
  • Dedicated to Anyone reading this.
                                    

A/N: And here is number three! :D If you'd vote or comment or whatever, that'd be cool. But you don't have to :) Hope you enjoy.

--Time Waster # 3--

Cam: *Is standing on Sal's front porch holding a camcorder*.

Darren: *From the swingy chair thinger* What are you doing?

Cam: Waiting for Alfred to drop Sal off so I can film her expression when she gets home.

Darren: That's not weird...

Alfred: *Pulls up into the driveway*.

Cam: Here she is! *Presses record*.

Darren: *Stands up*.

Sal & Alfred: *Exit the car*.

Alfred: What are you doing?

Cam: Well I'm not baking cookies.

Sal: >_< Turn the camera off.

Cam: Mmmm... No.

Sal: Yes.

Cam: No. Because when you guys grow up and get married I wanna be able to play this video during your divorcing process so you two can remember that wonderful, probably cheesy and lame first date you had together.

Sal: Awh that's- Wait, DIVORCING PROCESS!?

Cam: Yes.

Alfred: What the fudge pops?

Cam: I don't think those exist. You're probably thinking of fudgesicles or something.

Alfred: *Face palm*.

Darren: Actually they do, I had one yesterday.

Cam: :P

Sal: What makes you think we'd get divorced!?

Cam: The fact that there's a reason he'd marry you is enough of an example.

Sal: HEY!!

Cam: What!? You're creepy! And always trying to kill people!

Sal: So are you! Now give me that stupid camera!

Cam: Nevah!! *Races down the porch steps, running off in a random direction*.

Sal: D:< *Chases after Cam for the camera* GET BACK HERE YOU FREAKISHLY SHORT PERSON!

Cam: I AM THE AVERAGE HEIGHT FOR A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD!

Sal: LIAR! THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR HEIGHT!

Cam: SAL AND ALFRED SITTING IN A TREE...

Sal: DON'T SING THAT SONG!

Cam: K-I-S-S-I-N-G...

Sal: CAM!

Cam: FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE!! THEN COMES AN ABRUPT, TRAGIC MISCARRIAGE! THEN COMES BLAME, THEN COMES DESPAIR!! TWO HEARTS DAMAGED BEYOND REPAIR! ALFRED LEAVES SAL AND TAKES THE TREE!! D-I-V-O-R-C-E!!!!

Sal: WHY WOULD YOU SING SOMETHING LIKE THAT!?

Cam: I SAW IT ON THE INTERNET!! XD

Sal: Figures.

Cam: *Runs onto a big playground, up the steps, and up to a tunnel*.

Sal: *Follows* Why are we here!?

Cam: Because there are witnesses!! *Crawls through a little tunnel while still filming with camcorder pointed at herself* So, to Sal's future kids, I'd just like you to know she's trying to MURDER ME!!

Sal: *Grabs Cam's sneakers and pulls her out of the tunnel*.

Cam: NOOOOOOO! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIIIIIIIIVVVE!!!!!

Sal: What?

Cam: *Clears throat* I said you'll never take me alive.

Sal: Oh.

Cam: Yeah. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *Kicks Sal and climbs through* WHERE ARE THE TWISTY SLIDES WHEN YOU NEED THEM!?

Sal: Where's a gun when you need one?

Cam: I heard that!

Sal: *Shakes her head and follows Cam*.

Cam: NEVAHHH!! *Slides down a twisty slide and runs*.

Sal: *Dittos and chases Cam*.

Cam: I... AM... A... NINJA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sal: PIRATES ALL THE WAY!! *Tackles Cam*.

Cam: AGH! *Tries to point camera towards the two of them* YOUR MOTHER JUST TACKLED ME!!!!!

Sal: STOP TALKING TO MY FUTURE KIDS!

Cam: Why? They'll probably hate you anyway!

Sal: WITCH!

Cam: Hehh.. We all know that's not what you meant.

Sal: >_<.

Park Officer: Hey! What are you doing - trying to murder her?

Sal: With all do respect sir, yes. Yes I am.

Park Officer: O_o *Pulls Sal up* No murdering in the park.

Cam: *Gets up and points camcorder at the officer* So what you're saying is: She can murder me if we leave?

P.O: Um, no. Why would I say that? Stop trying to kill each other!

Cam: But I wasn't trying to kill her! I'm recording for the future divorce hearing.

P.O: What's wrong with this kid?

Sal: Isn't it obvious? She sucks to much helium.

P.O: O_o

Cam: >_< I am leaving!

Sal: Finally.

Cam: Bit- Never mind. *Turns off the camera* I shall return. *Gets on random horse that wasn't there before and leaves*.

Sal: ... What's with the horse?

P.O: ...

Sal: Well... *Kicks P.O.'s shin and runs*.

P.O: Owww! WHY'D YOU DO THAT!?

Sal: FORCE OF HABIT!!!!

----

Time WastersWhere stories live. Discover now