The Trouble On Your Lips (Kellic)

38

I lay on my bed later that night with Vic on my mind. As much as I longed to be with him, every time I made a decision I'd stop and think about how hurt I felt when he broke up with me, then I'd be back to square 1, unsure of what to do. I was just scared and finding it hard to find the motivation to jump back into things.

I rolled onto my side and closed my eyes. Now the only thing I was thinking of was Vic holding me in bed. He was always so warm and comforting. There was no doubt that I wanted him. I wanted to be with him, always. I wanted to kiss him and tell him how much I love him. What happened to the old me? The me that would make impulse decisions and do whatever he wanted to do? Part of me wished I was like that again but I couldn't deny that it felt satisfying to actually use my brain every once in a while.

Risk. It was all a risk; one that I wasn't sure I would take. As I pondered on the word more I realized something. When Vic and I got together, he took a huge risk for me. He risked his job, reputation and losing his little brother. He risked getting thrown in jail for me. Even now he was still risking everything because he wanted to be with me. Yet here I am debating whether to get back with him or not because I don't want to risk a broken heart?

I sat up on my bed as I made a decision. It was my turn to take a risk. I can't just stay in my comfort zone for the rest of my life, right? I can't keep rejecting people because I'm scared. I love him. I want him. I'm going to get him. Before I could change my mind I got out of bed, slipped on my hoodie, put my shoes on and snuck out of the house; headed towards Vic's place.

—-

When I got to his house, it was dark. There were no lights on. It was only around 10. Surely both he and Mike wouldn't be asleep already. I knocked on the front door since there was no point in sneaking around so Mike wouldn't catch us. I got no answer. I really wanted to see Vic though, so I went around the side of the house. There was a dull glow coming from his bedroom window. I looked through the glass and saw him there at his desk with nothing but the light from a lamp letting him see whatever he was working on. Knowing him he was probably grading papers. I smiled, thinking about how much I loved this nerd.

I knocked on the window and after not getting his attention I knocked louder. I still got no reaction out of him. I frowned and slid the window open. When I did I was able to hear the whispering sounds of music. He must have been listening to his iPod. With a cheeky smile I climbed through the window, shut it after I was in, and snuck up behind him. I touched his shoulder lightly but it was enough to have him scared and jumping out of his chair; so much so that he fell onto the ground. He looked up at me from the ground and his expression changed to relief.

"Damn it, Kellin, you scared me," he said as he took his headphones out of his ears and turned the iPod off.

"Sorry, no one answered the door," I said. He got off this ground, his eyes now level with mine.

"Oh, yeah. Mike's at Alex's. Some boy's night thing or whatever," he said dismissively. I ignored the fact that I wasn't invited to Alex's. There was no one I wanted on my mind other than Vic. He looked so attractive tonight, then again he usually does. He was still in the clothes he wore to school that day, only no tie and the first couple of buttons on his shirt were undone. Talking about our relationship was suddenly the last thing I wanted to do.

"What are you doing here?" he asked cautiously. Poor, adorable Vic was still afraid that I was going to call things off completely, so I wanted to put his mind to rest. Complete silence followed his question, and I mean complete dead silence. It made the atmosphere between us intense.

I gave a small smile and stepped towards him. His confused eyes flicked from mine to my lips. God, I really hope I'm making the right decision here. I placed my hands on his shoulders then slid them around his neck. He looked into my eyes and I could see that he looked relieved. From him practically begging me earlier, I just knew how bad he wanted this.

I pulled him closer and kissed him softly. I felt so comforted kissing him. I had thought that maybe Vic was pressuring me, and in a way he was, but after this kiss I knew this was exactly where I wanted to be. I loved him. I loved him so much. It was that thought that fueled the kiss. He kissed me back desperately, running his fingers through my hair. Yes, this was right. This was the best decision I've ever made.

He rested his forehead against mine as our lips parted. I could tell he was going to say something but I didn't want him to. I didn't want to ruin this with words.

"Don't speak," I whispered. I slipped of my shoes and kicked them to the side, then looked down. I brought my hands to his jeans and undid his belt buckle. The clicking of the metal was the only thing heard throughout the entire house. I looked back up at him and smiled cheekily. He didn't do anything, just let me loosen his jeans until they were able to drop to the floor. Next I undid the buttons on his shirt one by one. Each time I undid a button I'd kiss him sweetly on the lips.

"Kellin, I-"

"Shh," I stopped him and pushed his shirt off, "I don't want to talk. I just want to feel everything. Okay?"

He stared at me with those beautiful brown eyes of his, then nodded.

"Okay," he whispered.

That night we made love, and I mean really made love. It was slow. It was sweet. It was quiet. It lasted a long time. It was exactly what we both needed to heal. It was what we needed to know that everything was okay with us. It was just as special as the first time that we were together in that hotel room.

I loved him so much, and I let him know it too, whispering it in his ear when we were done. He whispered it back as if it were the most natural thing he had ever said. I felt loved too. I felt safe there with him in his bed.

"Please stay the night," he said through heavy panting.

He lay next to me, a sheet covering his body. I smiled, gently touching the side of his face.

"Of course," I whispered.

Tiredness was already washing over me. I felt emotionally and physically exhausted, but I wouldn't have it any other way. He helped me clean off, then we got back under the covers. He held me tighter than ever before. I faced him, placing my hand over his chest where his heart was, trying to feel it's thudding.

"You're cute," he whispered, putting his hand over the top of mine.

"You're cuter," I said back sweetly. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. He ran his fingers through my hair, making me feel sleepier than before. "Thank you for giving me a chance," he spoke quietly.

"Thank you for not giving up," I spoke back.