The Trouble On Your Lips (Kellic)

32

There were a lot of emotions running through me when I walked onto the school grounds on Monday morning. First and foremost I was nervous about seeing Vic. I had Biology today which meant I'd have to see him. I could have just skipped class, I wasn't exactly opposed to that, but I knew I'd have to see him sooner or later, so I would force myself to go.

I was also worried about seeing Mike, Tay and Alex. All three were mad at me and that made me feel uneasy. I needed my friends, like really, really needed them, especially now. Tay, Alex and I had been best friends for the longest time. I don't know what I'd do if I weren't friends anymore. I couldn't imagine it. Mike on the other hand, well I wanted to make things okay with him too. I was hopeful that I could get through to them. They were mad, but they must have calmed down by now, right?

I guess now would be the time I found out. I saw Tay first standing outside the building with her friend, Hayley. I was surprised that she was actually here. I wouldn't have been able to face school if I were her. I wonder if she's doing okay. I sure hope so. I walked towards her and when she saw me, she didn't look happy at all.

"Hey, Tay," I greeted her as cautiously as I could.

"What do you want?" she asked with a sigh. I looked at her friend Hayley, silently telling her to leave, and she did.

"Um, just want to see if you're okay," I said. She scoffed and shook her head.

"You don't get to ask that anymore," she said and walked around me. Of course, I followed her.

"What? We're friends, Tay. I care about how you are," I said. She spun back around and glared at me.

"No, Kellin, we are not friends anymore. I can't trust you and right now I don't even want to look at you, so please just leave me alone," she said, and I could tell by the way she talked that that was final. My heart dropped when I watched her walk away.

She actually really hates me. She was, above all, my best friend, and now she doesn't want anything to do with me. That hurt a lot. I honestly couldn't imagine school life without her. Although I didn't really talk about my feelings all that much to her, she was still just there, no matter what, and now she isn't. Neither is Vic. I felt like I needed someone, so my next mission was to talk to Alex.

I saw him by his locker, standing with Mike. Neither of them looked like their happy, care-free selves. Alex looked down-right depressed, although I don't know why. It wasn't like it was his heart that was broken. I was still pissed at him, but I wanted to make amends. I went up to them. Mike saw me first and alerted Alex of my arrival. Alex went to walk away but I stood in front of him.

"Can we not do this whole cold shoulder thing?" I asked him. He clenched his jaw and looked at me like, well, like he hated me.

"Stay away from me," he said. It was a simple, blunt phrase, but it was enough to get his message across. He knocked his shoulder against mine as he walked past me. Two friends down, one left. I turned to Mike.

"Hey," I said, although my voice was drained of all hope. Judging by the look on his face, he didn't want anything to do with me either.

"You can stay away from me too. What you had been doing with Vic was stupid and selfish. You could have fucked up so much of his life, so just stay away from me, and him too for that matter," he demanded.

I didn't even say anything. What could I say? Should I beg for his, Tay's and Alex's friendship? I clearly don't have any of them anymore. It was so easy for them to just dispose of me. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I wanted to just scream at them all and tell them to go fuck themselves, but I felt myself calm down instantly. This was a little setback of the medication I took. It levels out my emotions, which in theory is good, but sometimes I want to feel things instead of feeling kind of numb to it.