It's Called Being Sassy

Tea Like Ladies

"Diva, come in!" Kurt pulls Mercedes inside his home so fast, she nearly gets whiplash.

"Okay!" She laughs as he pushes the door shut, locks it and leads her into the dining room. "Why are we in the dining room?"

"Because we're having a Ladies Tea." He exclaims happily.

"I thought we were having a pig out? Isn't that why you texted twenty-five times until I left Mike's?"

Kurt scowls. "We're having the pig out later. The tea is now and the other ladies are arriving as we speak."

True to his word, the doorbell rings. "I'll get it!"

"Was that Rachel?!" Mercedes looks around for the petite girl.

"Yes. Sit! Sit!" Kurt points to the chair at the head of the table. "I'll bring out the food."

"How-?" Mercedes stops as he flounces to the kitchen, unable to hear her.

"Welcome, ladies!" Rachel enters the dining room with the Unholy Trinity following close behind.

Quinn quickly heads to the chair to the right of her girlfriend and kisses her. "Happy to see you."

"Happy to see you, too!" Mercedes wrinkles her nose in pleasure.

"Hi, Cedes!" Brittany bounces up, pinky linked with Santana. "I still can't believe you and Mike."

"Hey, Wheezy." Santana and her girlfriend take turns hugging their former leader. "I can. Chang has moves and excellent taste."

"Hey, guys!" Mercedes waves with her free hand, the other trapped within Quinn's. "Is this what tonight is about? Talking about me and Mike?"

"Of course not!" Rachel trills. The doorbell rings again and she flounces from the room.

"Of course not what?" Kurt returns with tea and a platter of snacks.

"Is this tea about Mike and me? Cuz if it is-" Mercedes starts.

"Chocolate Diva, I would never!" Kurt puts his hands on his hips.

"Bald faced liar!" Mercedes calls out.

The room cracks up as Rachel leads Sugar, Tina and surprisingly Lauren to the fray. "What's so funny?"

"You and Porcelain are busted!" Santana says.

Rachel stops in her tracks. "Busted for what? We're not doing anything." Her face screws up as she begins to cry.

"Call off the theatrics, Rachel." Kurt advises. "We've been caught."

Rachel fixes her face. "Fine. We do want to know more about your prior relationship with Mike. I just think it's very strange you were able to keep this secret for so long! We're best friends-"

"We are best friends, Hobbit!" Santana points between Mercedes, Quinn, Brittany and herself.

"No!" Tina points between herself and Mercedes. "We are. And what exactly are you implying, Rachel? They were friends once upon a time and yes, they slept together a few of them but that's over and we are best friends."

"That's two, Tina Cohen-Chang." Kurt puts a finger in the air. "This is twice now you've said that my best friend is your best friend."

Everyone but Quinn, Mercedes and Lauren begin to bicker over who is Mercedes' best friend.

Quinn smiles. "At least you know you're wanted now."

"Thanks." Mercedes thinks it's funny but she really doesn't want to hear any arguing.