It's Called Being Sassy

I Don't Know Who I Am in Love

"I'm so proud of you for getting into Yale! That's a really good school, Quinn." Mercedes Jones shuts her locker door. "After all that stuff with Sugar's party, I realized I never got a chance to congratulate you."

"No problem. Thanks. I had a really hard last few years but I'm not going to let anything keep me from my future. You know?" Quinn Fabray shrugs her shoulders.

Mercedes nods. "Sam and I are... what do you call the end of a relationship that never really started?"

"Doomed?" Santana Lopez skips up. "Face it, Wheezy; Trouty Mouth sucking the skin off of your face every time you wanted a kiss does not a relationship make."

"Thanks, Santana. Has anyone called you the devil today?" Mercedes rolls her eyes and starts off down the hall. Quinn and Santana follow.

"I'm serious. You have a gift and though those grassy green eyes and ole shucks sweetness that radiates from them are cute on a high school level what you need is someone more your equal." Santana pauses. "Look at Lady Hummel and Warbler Blaine." She points to Kurt and his boyfriend standing at Kurt's locker. "Blaine can keep up with Kurt in every way. That's who he needs to be with. His equal. Can you say the same about Big Lips McGee?"

Santana walks off to where her girlfriend is peering into her locker. Quinn and Mercedes are left to contemplate the Latina's words.

"You know she's right. I'm not saying Sam isn't your equal but you're every bit as talented as Rachel and I think you'll be famous one day. You need someone just as amazing. Not just musically but intellectually as well. Sam isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer." Quinn shrugs carelessly.

"But Sam's funny." Mercedes begins.

"When you're dating him but he's a lot like Puck." Quinn points to the jock in question. "Hot, talented, not too bright. But as we've dated both of them, completely obsessed with things we don't care about, whether it's Puck and his insane Super Mario Bro. conspiracies or Sam and his insistence that he sounds like Sean Connery. No one wants to be bothered with that. Especially when you're on your way to the top." Quinn shrugs and walks away.

Maybe Santana and Quinn are right? We've all dated Puck. And he's a lot like Sam. But Sam is sweet. Puck is a posing peacock at best; bullying jackass at worst. Yet Santana and Quinn both dated Sam. Maybe they know something I don't? I mean he is hard at hearing. I just don't know. I need Girl Talk. ASAP!

MJ

"Mercedes, what exactly are you saying?" Kurt Hummel pops a kernel of popcorn into his mouth.

Mercedes leans against Rachel's pink pillows and sighs. "I don't know. I'm so confused! That's the problem."

"Are you and Sam even dating?" Rachel Berry asks. "What happened to Shane?"

Mercedes rubs her forehead. "I cheated on Shane."

Her friends gasp.

"With Sam."

"Like ‪Eric Benet‬ on Halle Berry?!" Kurt is nearly shouting.

"I always liked to pretend that maybe Halle was my mother if Barbra was to be simply ruled out." Rachel plays with a lock of hair.