It's Called Being Sassy

A Deal Between Two Devils

"Look, Puckerman, I don't like you around Merce all that much but I do want my soul sister happy." Quinn scares the hell out of Puck, sneaking up behind him at his locker the next afternoon before football practice. "As much as I think flying solo is the way to go, she's determined to have either you or Sam but I believe you're the lesser of two evils."

"That's new." Puck snorts. "You used to think I was the ultimate evil."

"Not anymore." She flips her hair. "Merce told me how you affect her and I think you're a way better match than Sam."

"She told you I affect her?" Puck tries to keep his face neutral but a smile is fighting its way across his handsome features. "What is it?"

"Something about you calming her."

I dig that! He shuts his locker and hoists his duffle bag full of football gear over his shoulder. "So why exactly are you telling me this?"

"Because I'm going to help you."

"Help me?!" He scoffs. "By doing what?"

"By entering a thruple." She looks quite proud of herself.

"What the hell is that?" He asks in exasperation.

"A three-way couple! Keep up, Puck!" She blows out a breath before sucking in one. "We all hang out. We all go on dates."

"We all have sex?" Puck smirks as he knows Quinn won't agree to that.

"We all have sex." She agrees.

Puck's face freezes. "You liar!"

"No. I mean it." Quinn laughs internally at Puck's expression. "We do everything together and whenever Merce and I are alone, I'll talk you up."

"Is this a trick? The Quinn Fabray I know-"

"You don't know me!" Quinn snaps through clenched teeth.

"Oh, I know you, Q. You're up to something." Puck adjusts the bag on his shoulder.

"Fine. Decline my generous offer." Quinn flips her hair. "But just so you know; Santana is approaching Sam with the same exact deal."

"What?! But Satan's with Britt. And Mama's straight!" Puck halts in surprise.

"One, Santana and Brittany broke up. Two, Merce doesn't believe in labels. You don't know her. And three, Sam will say yes. Any upper hand he can get on you, he will. He loves her and he will do whatever it takes to get her back."

Puck shuts his mouth and mulls over the information.

"Think about my offer. It will only last so long." Quinn strides off but Puck's voice stops her, though she doesn't turn around.

"Why do you think she'll choose you and me over him and Satan? They were in the Troubletones together and are very close now."

"Sam had the whole summer and months of pursuit over your one week of dating." Quinn snipes.

"We spent the summer after Beth was born together, too!"

"What?!" Quinn whips around.

"Yeah. She came over all the time to make sure I was okay. She even held me when we signed away Beth. We spent time together. Not to mention that one week was great!"

She purses her lips. "That summer was about comfort. She was there for you as a friend. Sam has been pursuing her romantically all year."

"Satan stood up for her when no one else did after she left the New Directions. She and Britt left to join her and where were you?"