selfie || calum hood

this is so important c:

Hello beautifuls c: 

I have to address a few problems.  1) my chapters not showing up. 2) depression.

Some of you have been telling me that my chapters haven't been showing up.  I have not deleted them, don't worry.  It's just wattpad being stupid for some reason, I have no clue.  I'm sorry if you can't read them, it pisses me off -_-

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The next thing I want to talk about is depression.  I know most of you will just scroll through this and not even read it, but I want it to be here, no matter what.

As some of you read in the last update, I said in an authors note that I was going through some things.  Some of commented saying sweet things, and thank you so much for that, it means tons.  I love you all so much, and I'll never stop on wattpad.

A year and a half ago, I was battling those stupid ass demons in my head.  Something hit me, and I just wasn't happy.  Somehow, I pulled through it, I don't know how.  I'm a very sensitive person, so I really honestly don't know how I pulled through.  I guess that stress has built on me, along side my friends who aren't that great sometimes, and my many insecurities.  I'm taking a few hard classes this year, so stress is always on top of my shoulders.  It comes with breakdowns, and extra things nobody needs.  Anyways, it seems as if I'm not that happy again.  I want to be strong, but sometimes, it's so hard.  The other night, I completely broke.  A few of you have read in authors notes about me telling you to read @rxdashtxn's stories.  Well, when I broke, she was the one who was there for me.  My mom made some comments about my weight that hurt my feelings.  Don't get me wrong, my mom is my rock, but it really got me down.  I went to sleep without a word to her, but I went to bed and started sobbing.  I completely lost it.  I knew something bad was bound to happen.  I was scared to death, so I sent to snapchat to my lovely mackenzie. (rxdashtxn)  She helped me through my breakdown and I calmed myself down and went through with the week.  

However, yesterday my mom made another comment about my weight and a treadmill and it hurt my feelings and I let her know it.  I told her I was sorry for being a bad daughter and then, I ended up letting it all out with my mom.  I told her how I felt at school, how left out I feel, and how stressed I was.  I think she got a hint of how messed up I am.  She told me that everything would be okay and that if you're ever like this or upset to come to her, no matter what.  She also told me that she wouldn't say anything about my weight or the treadmill again.

I made this authors note mostly about the depression thing.  I MEAN IT when I say you're worth it and you're strong.  If you have nobody to talk to, message me immediately.  If you're thinking horrible thoughts, go to someone you can count on.  If you can't count on anyone, just message me.  I won't announce to anyone what's going on in your life.  Everyone has their own demons they battle with.  If you need to vent, vent to me.  If you just want to talk, talk to me.  

I promise, I'm always here for you.  Forever and always.

I felt the need to share that with you.  I love all of you so much.  I know I'm not the best writer.  I'm no Anna Todd.  Anna slays.  I just never thought any of this would happen with selfie, ya know?  I thought it was a cool idea and I just wanted to try it.  I love you all so much.  

You're all so beautiful and funny and amazing and ilysm!

I also realized last chapter I forgot to do questions, so here they are now c:

'will you become a satanist' - okay ilysm but jesus my homie

'how tall are you? how are you so good at writing?' - im five two and a half lololol. aw thank you ily i just love to write c:

'DO YOU FIND IT HARD TO WRITE THE FIRST CHAPTER LIKE YOU GOT THE IDEAS AND YOU REALLY WANNA WRITE THE FANFIC BUT YOU CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING FOR THE FIRST CHAPTER BUT UR ALREADY PLANNING WHATS GONNA HAPPEN IN LATER CHAPTERS BC LORD JESUS SOMEONE HELP ME' - first of all, wow that was long!!! hahha i totally understand like it took me a couple years to get the first chapter of selfie up.  plus, i have things planned. hehehe 

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im also having some sort of contest. message me about it if you're interested? 

i love you so much. if you dont read this, that's okay, but i highly suggest you do. please think about it.