The Pack and Sidemen Oneshots

Wooflan- Home

Lachlan's P.O.V.

No one noticed when I stopped going back to Australia between trip to visit my friends around the world. First it was Texas for two months, then Canada for another one, to Mitch and Jerome's over Christmas New Year's, the Pack ski trip in Europe and then to Vikk's house for quite a while.

None of my audience seemed to notice that I was away, I had a green screen and although the camera quality was worse, no one cared because videos got out. There were times I really thought they didn't care about me or my health, even though I knew that was the exact opposite of true,

After I left Vikk's house, I didn't have anywhere to go. He dropped me off at the airport and I pretended that I was getting on a flight but in reality I never did. I took my suitcase and disappeared into the crowd, and something in me hoped that I would be found again, although I didn't have that luck.

I had plenty of money in my back account, it was in the millions now and now that my house was gone, no rent or bills or insurance to pay, the money I was making from YouTube continued to stack up. I lived in hotels on the outskirts of town, not good ones or anything, but it was enough to get by.

It was three days after I pretended to get on that flight that I started getting messages asking where I was. At first it was just Vikk, he knew I should have been back in Australia by then, but eventually the Sidemen members, Rob, then the rest of the Pack and finally Click and some other friends from Australia began flooding my phone, asking where I was.

I never replied to any of it. I let the messages and comments flood it, my phone dinging ever minute, but I never took the time to read them or reply. As far as I was concerned, I was dead to them and they were all dead to me.

I couldn't do it anymore.

I had contemplated suicide on more than one occasion, I considered tying the rope around my neck, downing the pill bottle or finding a bridge somewhere, but before then it had never gone anywhere. I had always had something to do, somewhere to go, someone who needed me. Now that wasn't so true.

My fans might need me, but I didn't feel the same about it as I had done from the beginning. Before I had seen their comments begging for more video, begging for more of me, but now all I saw was the dislike button, the criticism and hate and destruction in my community that I had so lovingly grown.

Everything was falling apart around me and I wanted to end before it before it had the chance to end me. I wanted to go by my hand, not the destruction caused by someone else.

I lay back on the shitty hotel bed and cried, cried for help. I was begging for something to save me, for someone to give me a sign that I should keep going, but I knew there wasn't going to be any saviour; any message.

I was completely, utterly and totally alone and I dreaded the thought of dying that way.

---------------------------------------------------

I had the bottle of pills in my hand, the ones I knew would ultimately end my life if I took them. The clock told me it was just past 2am and the building was silent, as was the world outside, and I knew I would be silent too. It wasn't going to be a painful death.

Before... the end... I decided to check my message one last time, send a text or message goodbye to those who meant the most to me. Of everyone, Rob's messages were the most frantic and panicked and my heart panged, because I didn't want to cause anyone distress.

To almost everyone I sent the same text, to the Click and Sidemen members, some other friends from Australia, to my family or everyone I still considered family and other friends I had picked up along the way. I also sent the same text to Mitch, Jerome and Preston, goodbye. thank you for everything you've done for me.