Impulse (Published)

Twenty-Three

"Zachary." As she says this, at first I didn't seem too surprised. I felt like in the back of my head, I knew this.

I had already guessed, but I didn't have a logical explanation to as to why I would have even considered the thought.

Fury filled me and I gripped my hands together, plotting what I would say- what I would do. He had acted so kind towards me, he acted so sweet. But what was he getting at all along?

I go to say something but all I can't do is exhale, and animalistic like growl escapes my lips and I grimace and bite my lip, trying to refrain myself from going to search for him.

Aryiana licks her dry lips and tries to look at me but I see she cant. "I feel terrible that I didn't tell you sooner. He could've assulted you as well. I should of warned you...but I just couldn't talk about it Marley, I'm sorry." I see that tears are about to fill her eyes. "Don't blame yourself. Please. I understand where you're coming from....but now I think it's time to tell someone." I admit and she scoffs.

"Marley please. We live in a world where the first thing they're going to ask is what was I wearing? Was I wearing a skirt? Did I provoke him? Did I play hard to get? Oh and my favorite one. When I said no, was I serious?" She laughs in disbelief and it was like with Sage, the sad part was, she was right.

"A man has no excuse. No, excuse to ever taking advantage of a female. Zachary has no excuse. I don't care if you were butt ass naked. He has no right. I wish they taught male self control in Health class or the awareness of rape. Because I wish when I approach Zachary tomorrow and he comes up with some stupid excuse to why he did what he did. There is no excuse." I state boldly.

"I feel as though it's my fault.." She whispers and I shake my head. "Ary, it's not. It's the mans fault, there's females out here giving themselves out for free and he has to take advantage of a woman? No. He has full responsibility, I don't care what the situation was. He deserves to be behind bars- but if I had it my way...6 feet under." I whisper and her bottom lip protrudes.

"I'm filthy. I don't feel innocent. He told me I wasn't..." Her voice trails off and the more she tells me things about the situation, the more I want his blood on my hands, his dick in a blender and his head in a woodchipper.

"If he considers you any less pure after what he did to you, he needs to look at his hands because obviously they are the only things that are filthy." I scowl.

"What should I do?" She asks me and I lean forward to grab her arm and stroke it softly.

"Forgive." I whisper.

"Why the hell would I forgive that son of a-" I interrupt her. "Not for his sake. For yours. So this won't weigh heavy on him. I feel sorry for him. It shows that he knows he could never get a queen like you so he had to take advantage. But don't worry...he'll pay." I whisper.

She bites the inside of her cheek and lies down, "It'll take time." She admits.

This was obvious. You had to really want to forgive and Aryiana was still grieving which was understandable.

"Take all the time you need. I'll take care of everything else." I ensure and she says nothing.

Just because she had to forgive- didn't mean that I had to.

When we went to see Violet all together, it hurt. To see her hooked up to a bunch of machines and all of those nurses around her.

She had been feeling extremely weak lately and didn't talk much. Bags collected under her eyes and the nurse told us she had not been sleeping in fear that she wouldn't wake up.

She had not been doing any work and had been eating lightly.

We all sat in chairs surrounding her bed and she said nothing for awhile, just looking up at the ceiling and breathing heavily.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

And then a sigh, a cough and a groan. "I'm already dead." She announces. Her words left lingering in the air as she shifts over to look at us. "My soul has already left my body. I'm just a host now." She croaks.

Silence.

"Lila is behind the other curtain." Violet says with a sigh.

Lila being the other girl in our school that had cancer. "She has more energy than I do. She goes out for walks by the garden outside near the flowers." Violet mumbles but we don't turn our heads towards Lila, just remain looking at Violet.

"I want to be a flower...." She utters huskily. "I just feel like a seed...never growing...never changing. Perhaps withering and then that's when I realized that maybe I was one of those seasonal flowers. Maybe this is when I....wither away." She spoke of withering in a sense of her death and my heart gave in.

She was speaking like she knew she was going to die.

But I couldn't let that happen, I was going to fight for our friendship. Fight for our lives.

"I'm no flower..." She adds.

So we listened and then listened to her silence, which perhaps spoke louder than her actualy words.

We just listened because that's all we could do.

Aryiana- a rape victim.

Violet- a cancer victim.

Sage- a victim to herself.

And me? But then I realized my next goal for my friends, myself and the book...I had to stop victimizing us. We were no victims. And anyone who said otherwise, were ones not to speak. Zachary was the victim.

The fucking poison in cancer was victimizing- but didn't make Violet a victim.

And society and all those who put thoughts into Sage's brain....put thoughts into anyone's brain, telling them that thin is in, we're all the victims.

I had to get them to realize that they were warriors and nothing less, but in that moment I couldn't speak. I didn't know who I was trying to convince anymore. Them or me?

~*~*~*~*~**~

Very short update, but I'm writing a sex scene which is coming up very soon.

I hope you guys are enjoying it!