Fatal | The Second Life I [COMPLETED]

Chapter 22: Fracture

     "Great to know we're just murdering people now." Catey says. I look back, annoyed.

"You saw them, right?" I ask. "They shot the kid up there."

"Even so," Catey begins. "He's not dead. The medics were carrying him off."

We had launched into an argument over how humane we had been at that gunfight. She would normally have a point. We had killed 5 people out there, all in cold blood.

"I generally go by if we're getting attacked, I fire back." I say.

"No, Catey's right." Adam says, backing her up. They always backed each other up. "We should've thought about it more."

"There was no thinking." Blake mentions. "We were suddenly attacked by armed men."

"How about we just try not to kill people?" Tori asks.

I sigh, knowing I need to agree with her. "I can get behind that." I say, annoyed.

     "Good." Tori says. "I don't mind killing the Z's, but people are different. We need to work together as much as we can."

"And when we find some that want us dead?" Blake tests.

Tori's face turns to a frown. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

"Speaking of bridges." I say, as we begin to cross the river on the Brooklyn Bridge. "You guys have a beautiful home."

     "Well, when there's not someone being eaten nearby." I hear Adam murmur.

     "What do you mean your home?" Tori asks, confused. "It should be our home."

     "Sounds like communist propaganda." Blake says. Adam laughs with him.

     "My home was and still is Tulsa." I mutter. "It may look nice, but this is all a horrible vacation for me."

     "The sooner you accept you're stuck here." Catey starts. "The better."

     "Piss off." I say brashly. "It'll never happen."

     "Then you'll never be happy." Catey says starkly.

     "Well." I say, pissed off. "Then so FUCKING be it!"

     "Quiet." Blake says. "We don't want any Z's on us."

     "Yeah, sure." I mutter, resentment in my voice. "Whatever."

     "Don't talk like that." Tori barks.

     "Yeah." I say, repeating what she had said yesterday. "It's mutual."

     That was the end of that conversation. The feelings I'd bottled up for so long we're starting to come back to me. My problems were seemingly compounding every day. Without Tori..

     I doubt I'd be alive now.

     We end up crossing the bridge, and then heading into a nearby building to get a map break. While Tori examines the map, I sit down on the edge of the river and get a feel for my new gun.

     I knew if I thought about my depression too much, it'd catch up with me. I'd bottled it up for months now, a little circle of rage and questions quietly bombarding my brain. It really had to do with purpose.

     All I had to really live for was the hope of my friends being alive, which was basically gone, or for being needed by Tori. There's no future I can see.

     We were all just kids at the end of the day. None of us apart from a few had any specialized knowledge on developing a cure or rebuilding civilization. Kjrsten was the oldest one at Battery. She wasn't even old enough to legally drink.

     There wasn't realistic hope of another country surviving. A foreign army getting to somehow save us was a dream. Even if there was some army, why would they go to New York? An Empire State Building Souvenir?

     I realize water is dripping from my eyes into the river below. I can't think about this, damnit. I'll kill myself.

     I just wonder how long until I can't hold the thoughts back.

     "Ronnie!" I hear. I look over my shoulder, and see Catey looking at me. "Eh.. come on."

     I get up, slinging the gun over my back and walking towards the building. I wipe my eyes, trying to get rid of the watery look. Catey walks back inside, and I follow her in.

     "-we do this? It's a rumor!" I hear Adam arguing. "It's in the no go zone!"

     "You're right." Tori says. "There's no way we can do this."

"Do what?" I ask.

Tori, Adam And Blake all turn to see me. "You know that whole cure in Columbus Park thing?" Adam asks.

"Yup." I say.

"It's 2500 Feet into the No Go Zone." He says, frustrated. "That's half a mile into hell!"

"We can't do it." Blake says. "The winter sun is about to set, and I don't want to be here when it's night."

"Then can't we do it tomorrow?" I ask, annoyed.

"No, it's the No Go Zone!" Blake says. "That means you don't go."

"So what do you propose?" I ask, frustrated.

"Home." Tori says, swiping the map off the table. "That's safety. That's where we go."

"That way we can tell Kjrsten about the new group." Catey says.

I grab the map, analyzing it. Adam was right. It was half a mile away, in an incredibly urban area. My brain clicks. This could be my purpose. Something to live for. Maybe, just maybe there was a cure.

As unlikely as it is, it's my best hope. I'll be damned if I'm going to go home now. I've come this far. If the chances of others surviving is good, then a cure couldn't be too far out of reach.

I hope.

"Alright." I say. "We'll head home. I'm going to look around for some stuff. Just wait here, I'll be back in 5."

"Okay." Tori says. "Be careful."

I slip out of the lobby and into the back rooms. It was a sort of maze, and I needed to find a back entrance quick. I throw a rock to the back of the room, testing for Z's.

No movement.

I see an exit door cracked open. I quickly duck into what I now see as a cubicle, and pull a pen from one of the holders near me. Hopefully it still worked.

I open the pen and pull my journal out of my bag. I scribble to get the pen working, and after a couple seconds, ink starts to come out.

Dear Log.

Tori, I know you're reading this. This is my one shot, and I hope you understand why I'm doing this. I can't just live a life of boredom and hopelessness. After the people that died under my watch, like Ashley and Shaun, I have to do something.

I'm going to Columbus Park, and I'm doing it alone. Don't come for me. I'll make it back here. If I'm not here by tomorrow morning, go back to base. I'll be there soon.

I love you.

I flop the journal to the ground, putting my bag back on. I slip the pen under the book, and grab my gun, I head for the back do-

"Ronnie, you almost ready?" I hear Catey call impatiently from the lobby.

"Yeah." I say. "Just a couple more minutes, please!"

I then slide out of the back door, closing it quietly and dashing down an alleyway.