Thoughts and Feelings

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I knocked on (Best friend No. 2)'s door. She was just about to join the Air Force, but she had decided to wait a few years so she could spend time with friends and family first. She had her hair in a bun and she greeted me with a big hug.

"Oh my gosh, I missed you so much, (My name)!"

"I missed you too, (Best friend No. 2)."

I hoped that I wouldn't have to rush out of here the same way I had to with (My best friend's name). I don't like not having a stable home setting.

We caught up a little, and I told her more about how Elon and I were friends.

"Ugh, just tell him you like him already! You two were made for each other."

"I can't do that, he's my boss. I don't want to risk our friendship and my job."

"Suit yourself, enjoy missing your chance completely."

I thought about that for a moment... 'Could I really lose Elon that easily..?' I shook my head. 'No, everything will be fine. If it is meant to be, it will all work out... But what if it wasn't meant to be?'

"Hey, I'm just messing with you (My name). Don't sweat it, you're irresistible."

I laughed at her jest, and thanked her for letting me stay. Tomorrow was Monday, so I had actual work to do. Everything was happening so quickly. I have only been working for Elon for about three weeks, and I'm already getting threatened by other workers.

That night, I thought about (Best friend No. 2)'s words. 'Could I really miss my chance with him? What would happen then? I guess I would just move on with my life, right..?'

The thought of not having Elon in my life anymore made me extremely sad. He is one of the smartest men alive. He is the architect of our future. And he cares about me...

I laid on the couch and thought of all the possible outcomes that could happen due to not confessing my feelings for Elon. I could get married to the wrong guy, have kids, and then have a nasty divorce. I could be alone for the rest of my life. I could end up dating a serial killer. What then?

As I spiraled into my thoughts, my dog cried for a treat. Thankfully it snapped me out of my thoughts for a second. Am I going crazy? Probably.

I took melatonin supplements I kept for emergencies like tonight. I passed out within 20 minutes.

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