Fools

Part 15

I've been staying with Zo and Alfie for the past 3 days. Zoe and I decided that going back to University wasn't what I needed right now, so I put the next 2 weeks on hold and I'd return after the days were up. Joe and I haven't talked since I left. I have no idea where we stand now, we left on such a bad note. I haven't talked to Sydney either, we went ghost on each other, but it's whatever. She has no idea what's happening in my life, it should stay that way.

The sun was shining through the window in Zo's guest room I've been staying in. I turned over to the other side and placed my hand on the white blanket. This bed felt empty, even if it wasn't mine. I missed Joe. But I know the way we left each other, we needed time apart. I feel like I no longer have time for anything, that feeling so out of place, took everything from me. I rolled back over to the other side of the bed and felt the warm sun hit me.
"Time to get up Cate." Zoe came into the room and pulled the blanket off of me.
"Ugh, Zoe. Please just let me lay here." I rolled into a ball.
"No Cate, you haven't left this bed for 2 days. You're not eating, you're just in here isolating yourself. That's not good for you." I turned over so my back was facing her. "Have you even talked to Joe recently?"I closed my eyes and clenched a pillow at the sound of his name.
"No."
"Cate, why?" Zoe sat down next to me. I turned and faced her.
"Because Zoe, we left super bad. We argued, he blamed me, I know he did."
"And how do you know that he blamed you?" I hated knowing that Zoe didn't believe me over her brother, or maybe its just because she thinks Joe has better intentions than what she's hearing. But still, that didn't make me want to talk to him.
"Zo, you just had to be there, to hear the way he talked to me. Now please, just Zoe," I sat up. "I don't know how to fix this, and I just don't feel like fixing it when I feel like this."
"Talk to him Cate. It'll help. I know my brother, I know he cares about you so much. And I know you care about him too, just talk to him." Zoe got up and gave me a hug before leaving the room. I sat there in silence for a good minute before reaching for my phone. Maybe Zoe was right, talking to Joe might fix this slump I'm in. I pulled up our messages and went to text him when a text from Sydney came through.

From; Syd<3
'so you're sleeping with scott now? what's up with that.'

What was she talking about?? My heart dropped.

C; 'what are you talking about? i never slept with him'
S; 'he's telling everyone you slept with him the night of the party. and you just didn't wanna tell me?'
C; 'sydney what, i didn't sleep with him. he forced me into having sex with him. scott fucking raped me.'
S; 'you sure you didn't like it?'

I threw my phone at the wall and threw myself down onto the bed. Scott was back at University telling everyone I slept with him, but that wasn't what happened. I never said yes, I never gave consent. He's lying to everyone and making me look terrible. Sydney was acting completely crazy, I didn't need anyone to believe me. I just needed Joe.

I quickly got dressed and threw my hair up in a bun.
"Zoe, I'm taking the car. I need to see Joe." She looked over at me and nodded her head, suprisingly.
I got right into the car and immediantly drove over to Caspar and Joe's house, hoping Joe would be home. I jumped right out and started banging on the door. Caspar opened it.
"Where's Joe?"
"He's not here, he left with Oli earlier this morning." I looked up at Caspar and began crying, I fell into his chest.
"I need to see him, I need to fix this." I sobbed. "I need to fix everything. Why can't I fix this." I fell down to the ground and cried in my knees. Caspar sat down next to me and put his arm around me.
"Cate, what do you need to fix? What's going on?" Caspar asked softly.
"Scott raped me Caspar, and Joe thinks it's my fault. I need to fix this, I need to change what happened."
"Whoa what?! Scott fucking took advantage of you?? And Joe blamed you?? Cate why am I just now hearing about this?"
"Casp, I'm sorry I just. It was harder to tell you more than anyone so I avoided it. You're my brother, you've been with me through stuff like this before. I'm older now, my problems." I explained, he pulled my face up from my knees to face him.
"Cate, I'm always going to take care of you. Your problems mean a lot to me, you mean so much to me. We're all each other has, Ma and Pa are so far away now, this is now. Let me in okay?" I closed my eyes then nodded my head. He pulled me into a hug.
"It's gotten worse Casp. Sydney and the whole school knows, but they think I actually wanted to have sex with him, he's telling everyone how good it was."
"I never fucking liked that bastard, he ruined you and he still continues to do such a thing time and time again. He'll never fucking learn."
"What do I do, I already put school on hold, but I need to finish to graduate. But I'm not even there right now to defend myself, what if it get's worse while I'm gone?"
"I don't know Cate, that I guess just isn't in your power anymore. What happened with you and Joe?"
"I told him everything. How Sydney and I were drunk so I couldn't take us home, so Scott was there and I had no other choice. But Joe kept telling me over and over that I had a choice and should've known better. But I was drinking, I couldn't think right. So I got angry and left, I haven't talked to him since I've been staying at Zoe's."
"That's not cool. I'm sorry Cate. Of course I don't think that Joe's right for what he said, but I also don't think he's wrong. Drinking really fucks you up but I do feel like you could've told Scott no and found someone else that you knew. But I'm completely on your side through all of this, no one else." He put his arm back around me.
"Jesus Casp, I need a fucking cigarette. This shit is getting hard to deal with. And the one time I wanted to see Joe to fix it, he's not even here." I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration.
"You need to go get some?" Caspar asked me, I thought about it for a quick second. I've been trying to quit ever since I started dating Joe, but now was not the time to deal with everything all at once. I looked up at him and nodded my head.
"I do, but I can't. I'm trying to quit." I told him, he rolled his eyes.

"Are you sure? I just want you to feel okay."
"Yes I'm sure. I'm doing it for Joe."
And he may not be here, and we may not be on good terms, but I knew I also had to do this for myself.

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hii, it's me with another update, i'm so tired and school is stressing me out majorly this week, but i'll get through it. -destiny :)