Fools

Part 12

The Next Day.

I woke up the next morning to my phone ringing with a call from Caspar. I totally forgot that I called him last night, then I remembered that Zoe was coming to see me. I sat up, picked up the phone and cleared my throat.

"Hello?" I said.
"Hey, you called? Sorry I was asleep, what'd you need?" I closed my eyes as I heard my brothers voice. I spaced out for a second and I remembered what it felt like to have one of his bear hugs, I needed one so bad.
"I just-I wanted to tell you about the party that Sydney and I went too last night. But it's not a big deal." I said.
"I'm sorry I didn't answer, how was it? How are you doing?"
"You're okay. It was good." I lied. "Sydney got shit-faced and I was almost there. I'm doing good." I lied again. I couldn't tell Caspar, he'd drive up here literally to kill Scott if he found out. I need to take this one step at a time because it's still processing in my mind that it even happened.
"That's good. Have you talked to Joe recently?"
"No I haven't, I mean we've been sending our goodmorning and goodnight texts but we haven't actually talk talked in a few."
"Give him a call today, he misses you." A small smile appeared on my face, I missed Joe with my whole entire existence, but he was the last person I wanted to talk to right now. I couldn't. Not yet.
"Okay." I said.
"Alright well I have to go Cate, I'm meeting up with Alfie and Oli for breakfast and video ideas."
"Okay, have fun. I love you."
"I love you too Cate, bye."
"Bye." I hung up and layed back down on the bed. I turned over and saw that Sydney wasn't in her bed. I sat back up again and looked around the room, the bathroom light was off so she wasn't in there. She must've left while I was sleeping, where could she have gone though? I picked up my phone to call her when Zoe's name popped up, I clicked answer.

"Hey." I said.
"Hey, I'm at the front building it's called. Where should I meet you?" Zoe asked.
"I'll just come to you, let me fix my hair and I'll be there in a minute."
"Okay, I can't wait to see you."
"You too, see you in a minute." I said and hung up the phone. I went into the bathroom and fixed my hair, then walked out of the dorm and headed to the front building. As I was walking across campus I looked for Sydney but I still couldn't find her, I hope she's not with Rob. Rob is Sydney's "boyfriend", they're on and off almost all the time and he's a total douche, she deserves way better than him. He's almost like Scott but now I really can't compare Scott to anyone anymore.

I finally reached the front building and walked in and saw Zoe sitting in a chair, playing on her phone. She looked up at me and instantly a smile appeared on her face, she got up and hugged me. I wrapped my arms tightly around her and took a deep inhale of her perfume, she smelled deeply of vanilla like always and I missed her scent.

"How are you doing?" Zoe asked as we pulled away.
"I'm alright, it was hard sleeping, I felt like I wouldn't ever fall asleep, so much was on my mind." I explained and she nodded her head. "How was the drive out here?"
"It was nice, little roadtrips are always fun." I smiled faintly.
"Come on, let's go to my dorm." I took her hand and we walked back through campus until we reached my dorm room. We walked in and Sydney was actually there, she was sitting at her vanity doing her makeup. "Sydney where were you? I woke up and you were gone." I asked her.
"I went to get breakfast, I woke up with a huge hangover and I needed to eat." She explained, she turned her head towards me and Zoe and she stopped doing what she was doing. "Who's this?"
"Syd, this is my friend Zoe, also known as Joe's sister. Zoe, this is my friend Sydney, she's like my sister." Sydney got up and hugged Zoe.
"Hi, it's nice to meet you." Sydney said and she walked back over to her vanity.
"It's nice to meet you too." Zoe said and she looked at me and smiled.
"Zoe's just visiting me for the night, I asked her too." I said before Zoe could mention why she was here.
"Okay, that's fine. I'm spending the night with Rob tonight so you can have my bed tonight Zoe."
"What? You're staying with Rob?" I asked. Sydney began doing her makeup again.
"Yeah, he said he wants to work more stuff out, so why not?"
"And by that he means he wants to fuck?" I asked.
"Hey, sex is sex, and it just so happens that we're back together anyways." I rolled my eyes.
"Okay whatever." I walked over and sat on my bed, Zoe followed.
"Alright well I'm out, I'm meeting Lilly & Jessica to talk about another party coming up. I'll mention your name because I know you'll want to come." Sydney got up from her vanity, picked up her purse and walked towards the door.
"No that's okay Syd, you can take this one." I insisted. I wanted to be far away from parties as much as I could.
"Oh hush, I'll mention your name. Gotta go, kisses." She blew me a kiss and I watched as she walked out.
"Is she normally that like wild?" Zoe asked, I turned my head towards her and shook my head.
"Not at all, that party completely changed her I feel like, and she's back with Rob so who knows what happened." I explained.
"She has no idea does she?" I looked down and started playing with my hands, I shook my head and Zoe pulled me into a hug. "It's okay Cate, I'm here."
"Zoe what am I going to do?" I said softly. "I'm so scared to talk to Joe."
"He's your boyfriend, he loves you. You shouldn't be afraid to talk to him."
"But I am, I'm fucking terrified of what he would say."
"You think he'd be mad at you or something? Cause he wouldn't. None of us would be mad at you, this isn't your fault, you know that right?"
"I feel like it is. I put myself in that situation by even letting him take us home, I put Sydney in that situation too, imagine if I just had him take her home, what would of happened to her?"
"Stop it Cate. This isn't your fault." Zoe said, we pulled away from the hug. "It isn't." I nodded my head.
"I need to see him in person if I have to talk to him. I wouldn't know what to do over a phone."
"Then get your stuff, let's go see him."
"Zoe, you just got here, we're already leaving?"
"Cate it's okay, you need Caspar and Joe right now, being here with someone like Sydney who has no clue of any of what happened last night isn't good for you. Now pack your stuff, I'll bring you back tomorrow and then that night I'll stay with you okay?" I nodded my head once again. I got up and began packing my clothes and makeup in a bag and soon I was ready to go.

On the way there, my stomach was tossing and turning. I felt terrible. How was I going to explain all of this to Joe? Man the way I made everything sound its literally like it's all my fault that this happened. And maybe it is. I was the one that had him take us home, but I didn't fucking agree to what he did. University was actually supposed to start today. My mind kept racing back and forth between seeing Joe's face and then feeling what Scott did. I completely felt so alone. I knew Zoe wanted to help, but I just feel like she doesn't understand because it didn't happen to her. And Sydney's out trying to plan another party like she wasn't blacked out drunk at the last one. I literally couldn't tell her anything, I don't even think she remembers the fucking car ride. And Caspar. Oh god. How was I going to tell my brother what happened? I felt my mouth foaming up and I was getting hot.

"Zoe stop the car."
"Huh?"
"ZOE STOP." I yelled. Zoe pulled over to the side of the road and I got out and vomited in the grass. "Zoe-" I said in-between stops of me struggling to breathe and continuing to puke. Zoe held back my hair and it reminded me of the time I got a hangover that one morning and Joe took care of me. I felt even more sick, I missed Joe with everything in me. I didn't know what I was going to do when I saw his face in person, but seeing something other than the ground at this point was better. I know that it wasn't going to be easy telling him everything or even trying to grasp it to myself but I had to.
"Are you okay now?" Zoe asked, I slowly got up and nodded my head.
"Yeah. I think." I replied, I put my hair up in a bun and wiped my chin. We both walked back to the car and got in. Zoe started driving again and I just layed back in the seat. I watched as the cars and trees passed by on the road and soon I fell asleep. Sleep was all I wanted to do, I didn't want to move, I didn't want to talk, or to eat or to think. All that thinking made me relive each moment of last night, I felt trapped. So sleeping, I could escape.

"Cate, wake up." I woke up to Zoe shaking me. We were finally back at the house. I didn't want to leave the car, I felt powerless. "Cate come on, it's okay. I'm here." Zoe walked over to the other side of the car and helped me out. I looked up and here I was, back at the place I called home, just now it doesn't feel so much like a home. I almost just existed, I didn't have a home anywhere. We started walking up the driveway and soon Caspar came out, my heart dropped. 
"Cate??" Caspar said surprisingly, he ran towards me and scooped me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him tightly and I fell into his chest. He smelled of cinnamon, a warm scent. I inhaled so deep, I missed my brother so much. I needed him now more than ever. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you at school?" Caspar asked once we pulled away. I looked over at the ground then to Zoe, then back at the ground again. I had no idea what to say. Now was definitely not a good time to tell him Scott fucking raped me, and I had no feeling in my body left to move.

"Cate, uhh, was feeling a little homesick so I decided to bring her back for a few days. She'll be back before you know it, ready to learn." Zoe could have not made that more suspicious, but somehow Caspar was just dumb enough to believe it. I mean, I spent years away from home, "homesick" isn't a familiar word to me.
"Okay, well, let's head inside, it's a bit chilly out here." Caspar said, he put his arm around me and all 3 of us walked inside. As soon as I stepped into the house, all the memories of Joe and I fled through my mind. There he was. Joseph Sugg. The one who I had left with the name of my boyfriend. My heart didn't drop this time, it sunk. This was it. I can't run away from this anymore. But oh god did I want too.

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hey guys its destiny, sorry i havent been updating but im back. :)