SUPER RICH KIDS | PHAN

sixty two.

dan.

dan was already completely finished packing when kat got back, sitting outside with nina and waiting. he strummed his guitar softly, struggling to not let his mind wander. leaves floated down to him occasionally, landing near him or on his lap. dan liked it, it felt calming, which dan really needed right then.

he wasn't ready to be homeless again.

kat came rushing up, her hair whipping a bit in the breeze. her facial expression was confusing, to say the least. dan wasn't sure why she would possibly look so outright giddy.

he frowned up at her and she beamed back. she leaned over to nina to whisper something and nina smiled and nodded in response. dan crossed his arms, annoyed. everything was going wrong, he didn't want his friends keeping secrets to be one of those things.

"what?" he huffed, pushing the guitar off his lap. "what are you talking about?"

"nothing," kat said, standing back up straight. dan frowned at her. "but let's hang out here for a while."

"why?" dan asked, confused. why would they want to stay any longer than they had to? it wasn't worth it, phil was just going to end it anyways. besides, dan didn't want to accidentally interact with him. he couldn't handle that.

"just because," kat replied vaguely, and dan's frustration increased.

"why, though?" he insisted, staring her down. "this isn't funny, i'm serious. just tell me."

"dan." she met his eyes and gave him a familiar look. "just trust me, please. let's stay a while longer. then we can go if you want to."

dan had a sinking feeling but he nodded reluctantly. why would they want him to stay? it made him incredibly anxious to have no idea what was going on.

dan sighed and pulled the shiny guitar back into his lap. it made him mad (and sad) just to look at it, but he wanted to keep it anyways. he needed a guitar, it wasn't weird. it wasn't because of phil.

he'd gotten to a point where thinking about him didn't make him cry anymore, it just made him ache, which might be worse than any breakdown. a heavy, dull ache in his chest, and an upset stomach.

he just wanted him here, no matter what he told himself. he didn't care what a jerk he was. phil touched him like he mattered more than he knew, he talked to him like he was a beautiful, precious, important piece of his life. dan missed that, and he missed him. he missed making him laugh and making him blush because it always felt like such an accomplishment. he wanted to have phil look at him like that again, like he'd never seen anything like him before. anything as beautiful.

dan realized he'd closed his eyes and he opened them only to realize he was crying. he sniffed and wiped at his eyes halfheartedly. he needed to get out of here.

kat crouched beside him and touched his shoulder. dan glanced at her, embarrassed.

"it'll all be better soon."

her voice was so sweet that it made it impossible for dan to stop crying, and he hardly considered the meaning behind her words. he didn't care, any encouragement he would take.

"i miss him." dan was still thinking about phil but that wasn't who he was talking about.

"phil?" kat asked softly, taking his hand. dan shook his head, hesitated, and nodded reluctantly.

"not just him."

kat sighed and took a seat next to him, squeezing his hand gently. "i know. me too."

"do you think he was happy?"

she paused. "yeah. i do." she pulled dan's hand into her lap. "he liked his life, i'm positive. and he was happy just to watch you get happier."

that made dan's throat feel like it was closing up, because if dan wasn't getting happier, was he betraying him? if earl liked seeing him with phil, what was he doing sitting here without him?

dan didn't want to think that way, he wanted to have his own feelings, and his own wants.

maybe dan was just making up excuses to be with phil. dan sighed.

"boys are stupid," he muttered, letting his head fall on kat's shoulder. she laughed softly.

"yeah. but i have a feeling you'll change your mind in a second."

dan frowned, not quite sure what she was saying, but deciding to ignore it. he sighed and closed his eyes for a second.

➹

dan woke up feeling groggy and dazed. he was still outside the shelter, but kat was gone, and instead dan's head was rested on her dark green jacket. he blinked, wincing at the sun shining in his eyes, trying to get used to it.

he could hear voices and he tried to make out where they were coming from. finally he spotted kat's back, her recognizable hair spilling down her back. she was talking to someone in a hushed voice, so dan couldn't understand what she was saying. he sat up, and got a good view of who she was talking to.

dan's heart dropped.

phil looked a bit disheveled, his hair messy and his jacket a bit crooked on him. his cheeks were rosy and flushed though, his eyes bright, and he seemed to be breathing heavily as if he had been running.

there was something in his hands.

phil noticed he was awake first and stared at him for a second. dan avoided his eyes.

"dan!" kat said brightly, turning to him. "good, you're awake."

dan could feel the blood rushing to his face. "what's going on?"

kat touched his wrist. "it's okay, dan. just talk to him, okay?"

dan glared at her. "i can't believe you'd do this. it's over, i told you." even as he said the words his eyes flickered to phil and his chest felt like it was caving in on itself.

"please dan, just try." she sounded nearly frantic. "just talk to him."

"i don't want to talk to him," dan breathed, which he knew was a blatant lie, and she probably did too.

"katrina," phil muttered from behind her, and she turned. he smiled weakly. "let me take over."

dan hated him. he hated his stupid voice, and he hated that he was acting like dan was the immature child here. they weren't his parents, they didn't need to take turns trying to deal with him. dan crossed his arms and stared down at his lap as phil sat down in front of him. he didn't even look at whatever he was holding until it was being pushed gently into his arms.

it was a guitar. for a second his heart skipped a beat thinking it was his, but after a second he figured out it wasn't. still- god, it really looked like it. it was old looking, and scratched up, and someone had put stickers all over the lighter parts of the wood. dan stared at it, unsure of what to do or say.

"i couldn't find yours," phil mumbled. dan didn't hate his voice, actually. it resonated in his entire body, making him shake. "i'm sorry. but i thought you'd want one that's more like... your old one."

dan looked up and met his eyes. he looked so hopeful, and adorably sheepish. dan didn't understand how he could've thought he hated him. phil smiled nervously.

"can we go on a walk?"

dan didn't know what to say. all his feelings were rushing back and it was painful but also so, so good.

he nodded.