SUPER RICH KIDS | PHAN

twenty six.

phil.

dan slept on the couch, curled up in the extra duvets and blankets from sunny's cabinets, and, even though sunny had a perfectly usable guest room, sunny made a bed out of the sofa as well. phil just sighed and lay down after they had eaten their fill of leftover chinese food that evening like he was supposed to, too tuckered out to cause a scene. he wanted to sleep, he didn't really care where.

sunny shut out all the lights and it was like the noise in the room had been drained as well. phil was submerged in the silence, other than a soft shuffling of dan's blankets every few seconds. so phil focused on that. it was clear he couldn't sleep. phil didn't blame him; he couldn't really sleep either.

finally, dan broke the silence. "have you ever needed someone?"

phil tried to see if he could figure out what dan's train of thought must be to lead to that question, but he couldn't. "no."

dan was quiet again for a second. "not even your parents?"

phil shook his head even though dan couldn't see him, frowning. "no one needs anyone. everyone has the ability to be alone, to figure things out by themselves. sometimes we think we need people, though."

more silence. phil listened to dan's breathing, trying to discern if he was crying or not. he came to the conclusion that he wasn't.

"i disagree," dan said finally.

"fine," phil replied, figuring the conversation was over. but dan spoke again almost immediately.

"i just-" dan sighed. "i just feel like we must need people. i mean, people come and go of course, but there are certain people you need." pause. "maybe not specific people, but you need certain holes in your life to be filled. like, the best friend slot, or the family member slot, or the casual acquaintance slot."

"well that just isn't true," phil replied. it occurred to him that maybe he should be humoring him, but he couldn't help it. "no one needs any of those things. there are plenty of successful people with no friends, and they're perfectly fine."

"are they, though?" through the darkness phil could see dan shift to face him, his eyes bright.

"that's subjective."

"how?"

phil huffed. "it just is. you can't categorize every single human to ever exist like that, it just doesn't work. no one needs anyone. now, happiness, that's a different subject altogether."

"okay," dan said slowly. phil could've sworn he was smiling. "so, what about happiness? do you need people to be happy?"

phil paused. "no."

"no?"

he shrugged. "you can get used to anything."

dan sighed softly and rolled over again. "i disagree," he said again.

"okay."

the heavy silence returned and phil pressed his lips together, trying to relax. of course you didn't need people to be happy. it might be hard to not have anyone for a while, but anything was possible. he wondered if dan was talking about earl. did dan need earl? clearly not- he was still alive. but was he happy...?

not right now, at least.

but could he be happy? absolutely.

phil sighed and closed his eyes. he wasn't sure what he thought anymore.

"do you miss your parents?" phil found himself asking without even thinking about it. dan was quiet for longer than before.

"yes," he said finally, his voice nearly a whisper. phil bit his bottom lip hard.

"do you think they miss you?"

"i hope so."

silence again for a long moment, no movement or any heavy breathing cutting through it.

"we used to huddle together," he whispered. "on cold nights. which turned into every night. sometimes with the others, but sometimes just earl and i, because he would have trouble sleeping. sometimes i fell asleep reading to him." he took a shaky breath and phil just let him speak, not wanting to interrupt. "made me feel safe."

phil nodded slowly. he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, holding it in his lungs. jesus, suck it up. finally he pushed himself up, padding over to dan's couch. through the dark he could see him look up at him curiously, and phil smiled sheepishly.

"it's cold in here."

dan moved over without a word, and phil carefully climbed under the blankets with him. dan sighed and nestled into his arms like he himself was a blanket.

"do you think they'll forgive me?" dan asked softly. phil nodded.

"of course they will. they love you."

"yeah, but-"

"it wasn't your fault, dan," phil said firmly, because he fully believed it. "earl didn't die because you didn't have enough time for him for a few days. they'll see that."

dan whimpered so softly that he probably didn't think phil had heard. "i g-guess. feels like my fault, though."

phil sighed. "of course it does. katrina probably thinks it's her fault, too. that's why she was so quick to blame you. no one wants to feel like it's on them, but it isn't on anyone, and there's absolutely no use on dwelling on it." all of this had been in phil's mind ever since the whole mess had started, but he hadn't thought he would ever actually say it to dan. but dan didn't argue with him. "they'll forgive you. they're your family."

dan was looking at him weirdly. phil met his eyes and blinked.

"what?"

dan looked away quickly. "nothing."

phil licked his lips. "okay."

dan's breathing finally started to slow, and he pressed closer to him. phil had to admit, it was nice to have his warmth against him again.

"sorry," dan mumbled, his voice just slightly slurred. phil glanced at him.

"for what?"

"about your concert thingy," he responded, his eyes closed. "looks like you won't get that car."

phil flinched. he had assumed dan wouldn't want to do the show now, but it still sucked. he could probably still get the car with all the work he'd already done, but he had really been counting on that extra push.

phil was surprised with himself. in the past few days, he had almost forgotten about their deal. he had almost forgotten about the car.

but not quite.