How Dare You?

LI - Pressure

After Kit, Mom and I talked, napansin ko na medyo tahimik si Kuya at si Sophie. I'm pretty sure nabanggit na ni Mama sakanila kung anong napag-usapan namin. I'm scared how my brother will react after he process everything our mother has mentioned.

Si Sophie naman, hindi pa kami nakakapag-usap. I missed my best friend but I just don't know where to pick things up from. I went to the kitchen looking for something to prepare for all of us.

Narinig ko na tinawag ni Kuya si Kit and they walked farther from my earshot. Napatingin ako sa gawi nila but instead I caught Sophie gazing at me. I didn't know how to react, ngumiti siya sakin so I smiled back and went back to what I am doing.

"Hey.." Sophie called my attention. Hindi ko naramdaman ang paglapit niya kaya medyo nagulat ako at nalaglag yung kutsarang hawak ko.

Agad naman niyang pinulot at inabot sakin, "Sorry, nagulat kita. Sorry talaga." She uttered in a low voice.

"It.. it's fine." I replied as I took the spoon from her hand without looking at her face.

It was an awkward silence. I can feel the thick air between us. Alam ko may gusto siyang sabihin or itanong, but my earlier reaction seems to stop her.

"What is it Soph?" I bravely asked. Hindi ko nakita kung anong expression niya dahil nakatalikod ako sakanya.

"Uhm.. Alex.." She paused and I didn't bother to say a word.

I heard her sigh and continued, "Tita told us what happened.. and, I.. I feel really bad.. and I'm sorry. Sorry kasi hindi ko alam.. Sorry kasi, I wasn't there when you needed me to. I'm sorry kasi.."

"Soph.." I cut her off and faced her. "You don't have to apologize for any of it. What happened here is none of your fault. It's all mine to take."

"No Al. Hindi mo din kasalanan yun." She immediately responded. She looked really nervous. "And, I missed you. I missed my best friend." She smiled.

"Na miss din kita bes." Pagkasabi ko nun, agad niya kong niyakap. I hugged her back. Aside from Mom, she was the only person I had before Kit came in my life.

She faced me and said, "I'm sorry for not telling you. Kung narinig mo kami ni Tita na nag-uusap about your dad and Kit's deal, I swear, nun ko lang din nalaman. If I knew it earlier, I could have saved you from all the pain bes. I also was not able to process it immediately. Nagulat din ako at natakot ako para sayo." She explained.

"It's fine bes. Thank you for telling me. I admit, I got mad. Nagtampo din ako. But, everything is fine now. All of it is in the past now." I smiled at her and she hugged me tighter.

Oo, nagalit ako kay Sophie. Nagtampo. Naasar. And it's my mistake for not asking her before I reacted that way. Pero wala siyang kasalanan, naipit lang din siya. Nasali sa magulong mundo ko. And I don't blame her for any of it, she was just another person used on Dad's crazy show.

She faced me again and breathed heavily, I know may gusto pa siyang sabihin. And it's something about I don't want to hear right now, pero she also needs to hear it, to know what happened. Best friend ko pa din siya and she'll be able to help me out.

"About the.. about what Tita told us. Is is true?" She asked with a bit of hesitation.

I simply nodded in response. "Your brother was furious when Tita told us.."

"I know he would be. Natatakot akong kausapin siya." I muttered as I interrupted her.

"And sabi ni Tita na pinahuli na nila Kit yung gumawa non, but a case haven't been processed yet. They're still waiting for you to make a statement. Is it true?"

"Yes.." I respond with a nod. "I haven't found the sanity to tell the story to anyone else. Just remembering it scares the hell out of me..."

"But you have to.." My brother interrupted. Napatingin kami sa gawi niya. Hindi ko nakita si Kit, they're probably done talking.

"But I can't right now Kuya.."

"Then when?! When that motherfucking bastard gets out of custody and we can't find him, all hell will break loose Alex.." He shouted with anger and frustration.

"Kuya.. I.. I tried.. but, I can't. I just can't." I responded as my tears fell.

"Marco just stop this. We're not to pressure her right now. Kailangan niya maging okay and that's what we are here for." Sophie bantered to my brother, he gave her a furious look but Sophie didn't back down.

"We're not going to wait that long. I won't wait that long. Just tell it to me Alex, when you're able to then we'll call the lawyer. You'll make the statement today." Kuya said with conviction. It sounded like there isn't anything that I can do anymore.

Bakit ba niya ko prinepressure? Can he not understand what I'm going through? Hindi ko kayang idetalye lahat ng nangyare sakanila. I even haven't had the sanity to tell it even to Kit. I'm losing it everytime I try to and it's fucking scaring me.

"I.. I really can't Kuya.." I muttered under my breath.

"Fuck! Why can't you?! We have to file the case today Alex! We're losing time!" Kuya shouted. Nagulat ako doon and I started crying hard. Tangina, I can't even compose myself. Sophie hugged me.

"Why are you pressuring her so much?" I heard Patrick's voice.

"Because we can't sit here and wait. What if that fucker is also doing something to free himself? We're gonna lose!"

"Bro.. you weren't here when we saw her lying on the couch.. helpless, breathless and naked." Patrick paused and I heard him sigh. "We weren't able to touch her for good 10 minutes because it took that long to process who we were and that we won't hurt her. Kaibigan niya din ako and when I saw that drench of blood, tangina gusto ko manuntok. She was a mess and so were we. Wala ka nung mga araw na yon bro. So don't talk as if you know everything. Na-trauma kami, how much more for her. Ikaw ang kapatid, you should understand, hindi yung dinadagdagan mo pa problema niya." Patrick finished.

Binitawan ako ni Sophie and she stepped back, Patrick immediately eneveloped me to a hug and whispered, "I'm sorry. Let's get you rested. Ako na bahala dito." He guided me towards the room.

I met my brother's eyes looking at me and I immediately looked away.

"What do you think your doing?" That's the last thing I heard before Pat closed the door.