How Dare You?

XLIX - Mother

Nagising ako when I felt someone gently stroking my hair. It was my Mother's face and her usual sweet smile that welcomed me. My mother looks the same except for the fine line of wrinkles that are a bit visible on her cheeks and forehead.

"Ma.." I softly called.

"Hi sweetie. I missed you. Kamusta pakiramdam mo?" She asked. I missed her gentleness, I have never felt home and comfortable for so long. I love the soothing sound of her voice.

"I feel fine Ma, have you rested?", I asked her back. She looks tired and stressed.

"I had. Don't worry darling. Gusto lang talaga kita makita agad. I've missed you so much. I was so worried and scared about you. And I'm glad that you're doing good." She uttered with teary eyed.

"I'm sorry for making you worried Ma.. Hindi ko ginusto gawin yon but I felt it's the best thing to do." I replied. Hindi ako makatingin ng diretso kay Mama. I feel so embarrassed all of a sudden.

"Why did you do that anyways? I know how strong and brave you are, I admire you for that. And running away is something I have never imagined you will be doing." She asked, still with her soft and sweet voice.

"I heard you and Sophie talking about Dad's deal with Kit. I felt like everything was too much, yung parang wala akong mapagkatiwalaan, everyone was against me and trying to hurt me.." I paused and smiled at her, and continued, "And there's nothing to explain Ma, we already talked about it. We are in good terms now, and he let me took my time as he stay with me here after.." I paused.

"What? After what Alex? Did something else happened?" She asked with a concerned tone. I just looked at her, I can't find the right words to say, or maybe, I'm just not ready to tell it aloud to anyone.

"Is this something related to your reaction earlier? Bakit ka ba nagreact ng ganon anak? I was so worried na baka nasaktan ka ng Kuya mo o ano." She continued.

"Can.. can we call Kit? I need him. He'll help me tell you Ma."

Mama immediately nodded and went out the room to call Kit. I sighed heavily. Ramdam ko yung bigat ng dibdib ko. Gustong gusto ko magsumbong kay Mama, pero hindi ko kayang ikwento, masakit pa din, kahit maalala or maisip ko lang.

"Baby.." I heard the sudden opening of the door and Kit stood there all worried and scared. Bakit ba lahat sila nag-aalala sa akin at natatakot? He came near me as soon as I met his eyes and hugged me. "Are you okay? What happened?" He whispered in my ear.

Mom closed the door, she stood at the foot of my bed as she was contently smiling habang tinitignan kaming magkayakap ni Kit. I immediately felt awkward.

"Kit..", I called him as I try to let go of his hug. He immediately looked at me, met my eyes and held my face.

"Yes baby? Are you alright? What's wrong?" She scanned my face, arms and the rest of me that's visible to him.

I laughed a bit and he looked confused. "I'm fine. I was just trying to tell Mama what happened after I flew out of the Philippines..."

"Sorry, I overreacted." Kit said with a heavy sigh. "It's fine Kit." I immediately retorted.

"So what really happened?" Mama asked. We both looked at her then Kit looked back at me with questioning eyes. I simply nodded as I looked down.

Kit looked at Mama to answer her, "I found her at Macau with Patrick. We had a few bumps along the way as we try to fix everything back to normal. There were things I needed to sort out so I went back home.." I felt Kit squeezed my hand tighter. "I promised her that I will go back to Macau and be with her again once everything has been settled. I want her to stop hurting Tita, I want her to go back being who she was before I brought her all this shits in her life.. But, I was late. I went back to Macau and couldn't find her. I even beg Marco to tell me where she is, it took him couple of weeks to prove that he also have no idea where she is.." He paused. He briefly glanced at me. I was already in tears as I hear his side of the story, yes, it was all vague but I understand everything. He wiped my tears away and continued.

"I tried every means of to get a trace of her. It was her bank withdrawal history that led me to Barcelona. I was hyped and excited. I immediately flew to Spain. But, I wasn't successful finding her. I wasn't ready to give up. Until Patrick gave me a call, magkita daw kami dito, sa Amsterdam, we have some business to deal with.. Next thing I knew, they told me that we'll visit a friend who lives here. Little did I know that they found her. And.." He stopped. He was just looking at me. We both remembered that night. That fucking awful night.

"And? Was it really that bad? Na kahit ikaw hijo, hindi mo masabi sakin." Mama uttered. We didn't move. He closed his eyes, his jaw tightened and he continued,

"We found her on the couch, half naked and crying.." He paused. I started crying and covered my face. Agad niya kong niyakap.

"She was raped. By someone she knew. It was her colleague, he was drunk and he really liked her that much that he forgot to respect her. I am so sorry Tita, we were 15 minutes late. If I didn't chickened out and argued with my friends, we could have arrived on time and it could have never happened." He finished.

There was silence.

Few moments later, I heard my Mom cry and it broke my heart.