How Dare You?

XXXI - Ruined

Mahigpit akong napahawak sa cellphone ko. Na baka mawala yung picture at hindi iyon totoo.

It was a picture of Kit and Maisie. They were on a bed, Kit was topless hovering Maisie who was on her bra and a skimpy shorts. Hindi ko alam kung kelan to nangyari, pero nasasaktan ako. As if I heard my heart and world shatter around me.

"Baby.. baby, what's wrong?" Nag-aalalang tanong sakin ni Kit. Agad siyang tumayo at tumabi sakin. He held my face and looked directly into my eyes, habang pinupunasan yung mga luha kong patuloy na tumutulo.

"Kailan 'to?" Mahinahon kong tanong as I raised my phone near his face. Binitiwan niya ko at kinuha yung phone sa kamay ko. I saw how his expression changed. He let out a sigh and I heard him curse. "Fuck.." He paused. He placed the phone on top of the table and faced me. "Baby.. I will explain." Mahinahon niyang sabi. Explain? So meron nga? Totoo nga? Another batch of tears rolled to my cheeks. "Please do. I'm hurting but I also want to know." Sabi ko sa gitna ng mga hikbi ko.

"Remember when I told you my side of the story with Maisie? I went out to drink, kasama ko si Patrick. I was drunk ng dumating si Maisie. Yes baby, I flirted with her. But bringing her to bed wasn't even a thought that crossed my mind. Yes, may nangyari sa amin baby, but when I realized what happened. I left her. I didn't stay. Kasi naisip kita. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me baby." Mahaba niyang paliwanag.

Natahimik ako. Every word was like a stab to my heart. Hindi ko alam kung ganito ba talaga yung pakiramdam na nasasaktan. Pero, masakit. Parang hindi ako makahinga. Para akong mababaliw. Okay lang na may nangyari sa kanila, pero bakit kailangan na nung araw pa na iyon?

"Baby.. please say something." Nagmamakaawa niyang sabi. I can see him on the verge of crying, habang ako eh parang gripo na yung mata ko sa kakaiyak.

"I thought Maisie was just trying to antagonize me. Totoo pala.." pabulong kong sabi. I felt him held my hands tighter. Ayaw niyang pakawalan. It was as if his life depended on it. Hindi ko siya matignan. Ang sakit sakit.

"Baby, I'm really sorry. Please forgive me." Nagmamakaawa niyang sabi.

Nakita ko si Sophie na nagmamadaling lumapit sa amin. Agad niyang tinanggal yung pagkakahawak ni Kit sa kamay ko, "Let her go.." Inalalayan niya akong tumayo, "Let's go bes, we're leaving." Kaswal niyang sabi. Sa tingin ko alam na niya ang nangyari.

Nakita kong kasunod niya sa Patrick at Nikko, "Sophie, please, kahit ipagdrive ko lang kayo pauwi." Agad siyang hinarap ni Sophie at Pak! I saw how Pat closed his eyes as his face turned right and became bright red. "Gago! Bakit ba lagi mong kinokonsinte yang kaibigan mo?! Layuan niyo kami!.." She faced Kit. "Don't come near us, not until you've settled this scandal. Wag mong idamay sa kagaguhan niyo ni Maisie itong kaibigan ko." Sophie said. At agad akong hinila palayo.

"Alex! Sophie!" I looked back and saw Kit running after us. Parang wala lang kay Sophie dahil kalmado pa rin kami naglalakad.

"Please stop." Naabot na Kit yung siko ko. "Let her go." Mahinahon na sabi ni Sophie. "Saan ba kayo pupunta?" Kit asked and continued, "Baby, please don't do this." Nagmamakaawa niyang sabi. "Please let me go." Sagot ko habang nakatitig sakanya, "Not now Kit." I finished.

"Let me atleast drive you home. Please." He said pleadingly.

"No." Sagot ni Sophie at patuloy kaming naglakad, Kit was still following us. Until we reached the parking lot, I saw Jonas standing near his car. Agad niyang binuksan ang pinto sa backseat at dumeretso sa driver's seat.

Nakasakay na si Sophie, agad akong pinigilan ni Kit. "Don't baby. Please, I'll drive you home." Kumawala ako sa hawak niya at tahimik na sumakay, hindi na niya pinigilan na isarado yung pintuan. We left him standing there, hindi ko na siya tinignan. As soon as the car was out of the campus, I started crying.

Sophie hugged me and whispered, "Just cry it out bes. I'm sorry you're hurting." She was caressing my back.

I kept crying on her arms, sobra akong nasasaktan. Ang sakit sakit ng dibdib ko. I felt ruined.

Bakit ganun? All I want is a happy story. Yung mga nababasa at napapanood ko, masaya naman sila ah. Bakit yung sa amin, simula pa lang ang gulo na? Hindi ko na ba deserve ang sumaya? Ganito din ba naramdaman ni Mama noon? I never wanted to fall in love but Kit is one of the best thing that ever happened to me, then why punish me like this? Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko yata kakayanin.

After crying for a while, unti unti na kong tumigil. Sophie was still hugging me. I heard my phone beeped.

From: Mom

Kit's here at my office sweetie. He told me everything. If you're with Sophie, stay with her. I'll see you after work. I'll call you. I love you.

My heart warmed. Kahit iyon lang naging pampalubag loob sa akin, that he wanted to have everything fixed. But I'm not ready to do that yet. Ayokong ayusin hanggat nasasaktan ako. I know his side and I don't think I want to hear it all over again. Hindi ko alam paano magmove on sa sakit, but I guess, I have to learn.

"Jonas.." I called him. Sakto naman na red light. He looked at us through the rear view mirror. "Hmm?" He hummed and raised his brows.

"Thank you. For doing this." I thanked him with a small smile.

Soph released from her hug and said, "He also received the picture bes, he was trying to look for you but found me first. Kaya sabi ko, aalis tayo and ask him if he can drive us."

"Walang problema Alex. I just want you okay. I don't intend na agawin ka kay Kit, I know that this might be one of Maisie's plan, she knows whom to send it to. And we'll try to find that out." He explained and smiled. Green light, he continued driving in silence.

"No need. He confessed that something happened between them." I said in a small voice while looking out of the window.

We all became silent. But I can hear my heart shatter, all over again.