How Dare You?

XLVIII - Trauma

Nagdecide kami ni Kit na mag-stay muna sa apartment ko. Hindi niya na ko pinayagan pumasok sa work at pinili ko din na hindi na. Lumabas silang tatlo ngayon at may aasikasuhin daw.

Naiwan ako mag-isa, I was busy making lunch when I heard the door open. Baka sila Kit, dumating na. Bago pa ko makagalaw, I felt someone hugging me from behind and it doesn't feel familiar. Agad akong na-tense.

"Hey.." He whispered in my ear. That voice doesn't sound like Kit at all, agad akong kinabahan. I tried to free myself from the hug.

"Let me go!" I shouted. Agad naman ako binitawan nang kung sinuman na nakapasok sa bahay.

"Alex.. Alex.." He tried grabbing me on my arms. "Nooo!" Lumaban ako. I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. Napaupo ako sa lapag. "Please. Let me go! Ayoko na! Tama na!" I shouted.

I am shivering both in fear and anxiety. I can't let this happen again. Paano nakalapit ulit si Liam dito?

"Baby.." I heard Kit's familiar voice. Someone tried to hold my arms but I immediately slapped away.

"Hey.. Hey.." Hinawakan ako ni Kit sa magkabilang pisngi at agad na hinanap ang mata ko. Fuck, I was so scared. Agad ko siyang niyakap and kept crying.

"What happened?" He gently asked. "Some.. someone tried to grab me.." I answered in between sobs. "and he.. he.. I was so scared."

He caressed my back, "It's alright, I'm here baby." He kissed me on my forehead.

"Alex.." I heard that same voice called me again. I looked up and saw my brother, he looked shocked and scared. I saw my Mother behind him, silently crying as she was holding on to Sophie. What are they doing here? Bakit sila nandito?

I looked at Kit. Nakatitig siya sakin na para bang hirap na hirap siyang titigan ako. I can see regret and sorry written all over his face.

"What.." I whispered.

"Forgive me baby.." He answered.

"Alex, what's happening? Why did you react that way?" Kuya asked with anger.

Kit helped me on my feet, he stood in front of me, "Can we talk later? You can stay here. I'll just bring her to bed and let her rest for a while."

"Is she sick?" I heard my mother asked. I shot a glance at her and she was intently looking at me. Kit shook his head in response, my mother nodded.

Inalalayan at sinamahan ako ni Kit papasok ng kwarto, he tucked me in bed and intently looked into my eyes.

"Bakit?" I quietly asked.

"Never has it crossed my mind that I'll see you that scared. And I feel bad for letting you feel that way." He sadly answered.

"It's not your fault. Hindi ko din alam that I would react like that. Basta natakot ako and I felt helpless. I'm sorry you have to see that." Mahinang sabi ko, I can still feel myself shivering a little. Feeling ko anytime, iiyak na ko.

We heard a knock on the door and we saw it opened, Kuya's head popped in and asked, "Can I come in?"

Kit was about to protest but before he could, "Of course Kuya", I answered. Kit faced me and looked me in the eyes as if asking it it really is okay. I nodded with a smile as I held to his arm. He is still facing me as he sat on the side of my bed, his right hand rests on the bed near my left thigh.

Kuya went in and closed the door. "What happened?.." He met me in the eyes as he continued, "I'm sorry if I got you freaking out.. I didn't mean to", Concern, confusion and sadness is all evident as looked back to my brother.

"Why were you scaring the hell out of her anyways? We've talked about this." Sabi ni Kit ng may diin. They talked? He knows they're coming?

"Do you want me to wait for whatever the fuck you're doing before I see my sister? Are you fucking crazy? That's my sister! I'll see her whenever I want to." Kuya's voice raised as he finished his statement.

"Kuya.."

Kit stood up and faced my brother, "I told you to wait till I get home, I need to tell her at least. I want to know if she's ready to do this at all. You don't get to show up unannounced when you the fuck don't know what has been up all this time." Kit was starting to get irritated.

I held his hand, "Please.. stop this."

"Alex.." My brother called my attention. "Why does he gets to touch you and you freaked out on me? What lies has he been feeding you all this time? I thought you won't see us for so long? Then, I'll immediately receive a news that this fucker has been with you?"

"Kuya.. I didn't mean any of this. We met here unexpectedly and not telling you was my decision..."

"But why?! Tell me Alex! I'm your brother!" Kuya interrupted me. I was not able to answer him immediately, I have never seen my brother so mad and disappointed at once. And masakit, kasi parang ako yung dahilan ng disappointment nya, was he disappointed at me? for my decisions?

"What lie has he given you this time Alex? Or does he warm your bed so much that you have forgotten everything? Is he so good in sex for you to forget yourself? Is he such..

"You don't fucking cross that line!" Kit shouted and interrupted.

"Is that what you have in mind Kuya? All this time you thought about those things?" I looked up to my brother with teary eyed.

"Kuya, I needed Kit to go through things that have fucked me up. As much as I want to have you with me, I don't want you to kill anyone." I laughed, thinking I left that sound of humor.

"What?" Kuya answered, his confused expression and tone was evident.

I smiled to him and kept my smile as I gazed back to Kit, he was looking at me still with tight expression, I held his hand a bit tighter.

"Alex will explain once she's ready. Nothing else for you to know, leave us, I'll follow you out once she's tucked in." Kit said with an authoritative tone.

"Can I at least hug you before I go?" Kuya asked me.

"Of course, I missed you Kuya." I smiled. Kit stepped back as Kuya sat on the side of the bed and hugged me tight.

"I'm sorry and I love you." My brother whispered.