My Crazy Life

chapter 60

I pull up the dirt path.  and stop the car. I get out and leave the windows down for Leo. I walk 2 feet to the big rock and sit. I put my earbuds in and play a song that describes me right now. Well I might be eggagerating.

(Ignore the balloon)

When the song starts playing I close my eyes. Then I look at all the light.

I hadn't realized that I was crying. I wipe my eyes. I close them and think off all I did this year and every other year. I think about how uch I used to hate Taliya, but now we are friends. I think about how my dad just uddenly showed up and wanted to be in my life. I think about how hard it was when abuelita died.

              Flashback

We drove to the hospital just to see the whole family in the room.  Even my uncle who lives in new york.  Everyone is crying.  Even ones I have never see cry bafore.
It's so sad in here I can't take it. 

I run. Even though I hear my uncles calling after me I run.  I run until I get outside. Then I just stand there gasping for air. 

I see a bench nearby.  I walk to it and sit down and think.  I think about all the memories I have of my grams.

I don't know how long I was thinking for until my aunt leslie's voice cuts off my train of thoughts.   
"¿Estás bian? "(Are you okay) she asked.  I was close to aunt Leslie more than any of my other aunts. 
" No." I said.  My voice was raspy.
"Alejandra there was nothing they could've done.  They tried everything you know that. "
"Sé eso. " ( I know that.)  I wispered.  She stood up and held out her hand. "Vamos before everyone starts  to get worried. "
I take her hand and we walk in together.
        
        Flashback over

I was 10. At the time I only had my abuela. So. Somehow Leo got out of the car and ran to me. 3 seconds later I felt a presence beside me. Blake Sat down next to me and looked out at the city.
"I thought you might be here. Everyone was freaking out because we couldn't find you. Especially when you said that you'd be at school. How long have you been here? "
"Well I went home. I'm guessing you saw my room. Then I came here. "
"Yea well I'm not cleaning that up. Why would you do that. You do realize a lot if the stuff you broke isn't fixable. " I nodded.
"Yep.i was just frustrated. At myself. It's all my fault that this happened. You know I had my future all set. I just had to graduate. We would go to UCLA. I would go for volleyball then maybe if I got injured to go for a phycologist. " I laughed quietly
"But now, n I can't do that. I have decent grades. But they're not decent enough for me to get in accademicaly. In all honesty, I don't know if ill be able to graduate. " Leo nudges my hands. I run it through his fur.
"It's only the beginning of the year. Everything could change. You don't know. Maybe you cold get a scholarship. "
How? "
"Softball. You play softball and you got offers. "
"Yea I got offers from UCLA. "
"Not only then. You got offers from Oklahoma, Tennessee, Florida, new York, Arizona, Texas even. Ali,  you can go anywhere. "
"I don't know if I could even play softball. I already got kicked off the team. What if they don't let me play. "
"These sports mean everything to you. Do something about it. If it means you never getting in trouble and coming to school everyday, then do it. " He sighs.
"Blake, you know me. And be honest. D you think that I could actually do that? That I could go to school everyday and not get not trouble? *I look at him.
" Yes. I do. If you tried. The whole Bible that landed you into this situation is because you get into trouble. That has to stop. "
"I know. "
"Look I love you but I don't want to be dating a girl who is in juvie. " He smiles. I shake my head. This is stupid. Why are we talking like I'm actually gunna do something. I'm not going to do anything. If they want me to play for them then I will. But I have better things to do.
"I see the wheels turning in your head. What're you thinking? "
"I was thinking that I have better things to do than to sit and wait for them to say I can play again. "
"That's great. Now let's get home. We have school tomorrow. " Ugh. He ruins everything. We stand up and I grab Leo's leash. We go to our seperate cars and drive the hour back home.
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"ALEJANDRA MARIA GONZALES!  WHY DID THE PRINCIPAL CALL ME AND TELL ME ALL THE STUFF YOU DID. AND YOUR CONSEQUENCES. NOT TO MENTION YOU DISSAPEAR AND DON'T TELL ANYONE WHERE YOU'RE GOING! YOU HAD US WORRIED SICK! " My mom yelled as soon as u walked into the door.
"Shit! " I fumble and nearly fall because of how loud she was.
"I know and understand everything that happened. I lost my dream because I was stupid. I don't need you or anyone else to tell me whT I did was wrong because I already know that! " My voice was rising. Blake took Leo and went upstairs.
"Don't tell me that I was wrong because I know I was! I fought the girl because she started it! Did you know that Gomez didn't even talk to her?! You know why?! Because it was me who fought her! SO I GOT KICKED OFF IF THE TEAM! I LOST ALL OF MY VOLLEYBALL SCHOLARSHIPS FOR UCLA AND PROBABLY EVERY OTHER SCHOOL TOO! I'VE HAD ENOUGH WITH PEOPLE TODAY! THEY THINK THEY CAN TRY TO COME TELL ME THAT I NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL AND QUIT IGHTING! I KNOW THAT! I TRIED! I DIDN'T WANT TO FIGHT HER! I ANTES TO WALK AWAY BUT SHE DIDN'T LET ME! She didn't let me. "I said losing my voice and crying. My mom looked shocked and ashamed. I don't know why she should be ashamed. This was me. It was all me.