OPPOSITES. ✔️ [editing]

13.0

WARNING: this may trigger some as there are mentions of self-harming

jimin sighed as he read through his, hoseok and jongin's messages. it seemed as if everyone around him was happy and their lives were working out fine. it was like he was the grey cloud in all their lives. because of his unhappiness he made his friends unhappy and feel the need to put his wellbeing before their own.

wouldn't it be better if i was dead? jimin thought as he threw his phone down onto his bed.

ever since yoongi left, he felt like there was a huge hole in his life, like someone had ripped a part of him away. yoongi was his other half, and only two halves made a whole. without yoongi, jimin felt like a lone half waiting to be reconnected with the other piece to complete the puzzle which was him.

jimin stood from his bed and made his way into his bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror.

he had the darkest, heaviest bags underneath his eyes, his eyes lost its life, his skin was a sickly pale colour and his hair was a tousled, brown mess.

a mess.

that's what he was on the outside and on the inside.

impulsively, jimin raised his hand to open the cabinet in front of him and stared at his razor. within seconds, the razor was in his hand before he threw it down onto the floor and stepped on it until the metal blades and plastic had become detached from each other.

he bent down and picked up one of the two blades on the cold, bathroom floor. he sat on the floor and rested his back against the bathtub.

he pulled the sleeve of his top up to his elbow before staring at his arm which was void of scars or impurities.

should he really take the plunge and do this?

wouldn't it just be destroying himself?

but if he didn't do this, he wouldn't be able to understand what yoongi was going through.

cutting himself... it was the only way he'd be able to understand yoongi.

and with the thought of him being able to understand what drove yoongi to harm himself, he slowly pressed the blade down on his soft skin.

"f-fuck." jimin cursed, at the pain of the blade breaking his skin.

he dragged the cold metal across his skin, while muttering profanities as the scarlet fluid seeped out of his wound and dripped onto the white bathroom floor. he pulled the blade away from his arm and threw the bloodied metal across the bathroom.

he held his bleeding arm, his teeth gritted out of pain. his arm stung, tears welled up in his eyes but at least something good came out of it.

he finally understood just how broken yoongi was if he could hurt himself like this.

jimin quickly stood and opened the cabinet and grabbed a bottle of dettol and a packet of cotton balls. he sat on the toilet seat and poured the dettol onto a cotton ball and lightly dappled it onto his wound.

it hurt to think that yoongi felt relief after hurting himself like this. jimin bit his lip hard at the memory of yoongi's panic attack. he could now understand why he reacted that way.

if someone he used to be in a relationship with caused him to cut himself he wouldn't be at ease in their presence.

he looked down at the cut and saw it had stopped bleeding after wiping the disinfectant over the wound. he stood and went back to the cabinet to put the dettol and cotton balls back. he took out a band aid and put it on his cut.

he took a deep breath and closed the cabinet door. he looked at himself in the mirror once again, but this time, he smiled.

he smiled at his reflection because from this day forward, he vowed to work better on himself and self-improvement so he could be a better person for himself and for yoongi.