Condemning Conspiracy

E: Continuation T: Aggrivated

  I’m aggravated. Why should I bother putting up with you? I do want to be around you. You are my best friend family wise. You really are man but this girlfriend of yours and our lack of communication when it comes to her. It’s. It’s tearing me apart. I don’t know if you notice but if you do I hope you want to do something about it. Every chance that I want to talk about it you’re tired. I’m tired. You’re busy. I’m busy. You’re with her. And well. I’m alone. Like usual.

  It’s not even that I’m jealous of your relationship. Shoot. I could have had her if I wanted. I DON’T. I’m tired of the lack of communication. I’m lonely yes. But I have friends and they’re there for me. I have many that I can turn to maybe not in person but I do outweigh your friends.

  The fact that you can go out and spend time with the few that you have is awesome. No I don’t want to hang out with them. Hearing about them is enough. Hearing where you are every now and then would be great. I don’t care if it takes calling me on her phone! I hate coming home to this, I hate not sleeping over this, I hate the fact that I’m stressing over something that I WANT to talk about but don’t have the chance to.

  I don’t want to write you letters like these. You never read them. If I hand you a piece of paper then I feel farther away from you but clearer in what I have to say. I know I can go up to you and talk to you but I’ve struggled between other people and that’s why I don’t want to face you. I’m thinking anyway.

  I want you to see that there’s something wrong. We talk about commination and wanting to communicate but we don’t. We ask each other if we’re okay with somethings but is that enough? If I have to live with you I have to take this to different measures.

  Covers face with hands. If I knew how to talk that’d be great. But it’s true. An silent Aries means chaos. Inside the heart it flows. It attempts to let itself out but fails miserably wit htears or misunderstood frustration.