Condemning Conspiracy

E: Loosing Patience. T: Frustrated and Paranoid

  I'm lossing it. I heard her voice. She said that she loved me. That she wanted to marry me. That she wanted me to come home. For heavens sake consciounce. Stop! It's not funny! You're lucky that I heard my nephew over it all. I can't cry in front of him. I turned away and ushered him to leave the room and then I busted into tears. I swollowed a lump in my throat. This is seriously killing me.

  This has happened more than once. It's manipulative. She doesn't care about me. At least, that's what I want to think because I don't want anymore hope to crawl in. She doesn't care! She said it herself! I haven't talked to her! I've tried and she won't answer! I've texted her out of anger! I doubt slitting my wrist is going to make me feel any better but if it gets her off of my mind then hand me a knife.

  My fingers are crossed. I hope to forget this or at least the feeling of it. I don't know but it's haunting me. It calls for me and well, it's not real so why chase after it. I put so much effort already. Why try harder?

  "Our paths were once the same but now they no longer are." quote from a movie that I watched earlier.

  So why does this side road keep honking at me?!

  And then my heart twist as I think of Skyler. Shoot. These girls are driving me crazy. Tina called me and told me that she found out what happened on that saturday with Raven. She's been trying to figure out for a while now and ever since Raven told her she's been texting me nonstopped.

  "I can't believe it! You and Raven!" Constantly reminding me that I did something that I can't believe I did. Well. That's not helping. The relationship with me and Raven isn't a good one. On my terms anyway. She thinks everything is fine. She messed with my money, and she's manipulative so I backed away from her. She owes me fourty from all the gas I told her to pay for. I doubt she'll pay me.

  Luckily I can keep this one short. This last sentence could make sence maybe not. Listing rather. 

Lily. Jean. Janna. Boni. Jay

Lily. Matrina. Jean. Raven. Beth.