Condemning Conspiracy

E: Today's Agenda T: Wavering

  I woke up to Xavier’s girlfriend whispering. Then, with my supersonic hearing when I’m awake I heard every movement. Ever subtle movement.  I didn’t want Xavier’s girlfriend staring at me in my boxers so I asked Xavier if I could get changed. He said yea. Go ahead. For the longest time, I sat there listening to a giggle and a slight movement. The exact words I woke up to? “Oh, why not…?”

  “Because. Dj’s right there. You know he wouldn’t like to wake to that.”

  Then. I finally decided I couldn’t take it.

  “Please…. He won’t know!”

  “Oh I’ll know alright.” I say flatly.

  There’s silence. And then I ask if I can change. It’s six in the morning. Xavier’s baffled to why I want to leave so early. All I want is to get away from them really. And the local entertainment center doesn’t open up till Six thirty.

  Luckily, the thought comes to mind that I can go to the Donut shop. I’ve never actually gone to a donut place in the morning but today I arrive and get two donuts and a thai tea. I hardly ever eat breakfast. The lemon filled amazingness is absorbed and I leave after watching an episode of a show on nick about these puppies rescuing people.

  I also realize that the animation is similar to the one with Action Chugger. I don’t know the actual name… Chugington. Lol. My nephew loves that show. There’s a train and it looks exactly as it could on Chugington without the faces.

  It’s ten in the morning now. I want to go home. I want to go to my room. To lock myself and be alone would be great right now. But. I know those two are either still at it or asleep so I have to fight the craving.

After I ate I walked around with the camera I had and took pictures. People on my DAm want me to pick up photography again. Sure. I’ll go for it. But I take so many photos at a time I hate having to upload them all. I’m tempted to open up a blog with the photos but I don’t have a camera of my own so that would be a problem. I’ll post ten a week or so. I don’t want to get too into this photography. Especially since I do much already.

 I want to sleep. To an extent. Waking up to that has to serious ruin my morning. I don’t even call Xavier’s girlfriend by her name anymore. All I said is, you. And she knows exactly who I’m talking to. It’s the tone mainly. She doesn’t talk to me anymore. I’m glad she doesn’t. But. When I got dressed this morning and called her to get her back in the room  I expected her to be waiting in front of the door.

 Apparently, she went in the kitchen. I called her over. She was dazed because of the light but she made her way to the room while I went to the restroom.

A friend brought up a question. He said that he wanted to try to go out with a guy. It would be an experience. And I get that. I don’t have a longing to be with another guy but I have had the thought of trying it once. Because then. At least I can say I tried.

I know that I don’t work with a lot of guys. Friendship wise we waver but it doesn’t hurt to try. We explained what we preferred in a relationship and all that jazz. It was funny. We’re really good friends but we both made it clear that we wouldn’t work in a relationship.

Whereas he likes to have the girl holding onto him in public and locking arms or something as such, I can’t stand it. Especially the kissing constantly in public. I can’t do that. I did it when I was younger and I had my phase. Now that I see the people around me doing it? It looks… I don’t know. I rather not put out my relationship to let every know that I’m with someone.

I don’t care who it is. I don’t like being touched constantly. I mean, alone. Sure. Do whatever you want. All I ask is to not bother me while I’m writing and then, if you do don’t be upset when I either ignore you or snap at you because I’m writing.

He brought up that he doesn’t like people who can’t stand up for themselves. I agreed with this. I mainly can’t be with a person who can’t speak up. If there’s something wrong, say it. Otherwise? Don’t be upset when I don’t do anything about it. Because. Well. I don’t know.

The main problem I have with people that I try to be in a relationship with is that if they don’t catch my interest in the first week I leave. I tell them that it was fun while it lasted, they say we can work it out, but then I say that they bored me. They get offended and for some reason they want to be friends but obviously it never works.

I can’t stand going out with someone who can’t tell me straight. If they want to say something, they have to say it. If we’re in an argument and I always win? Then. Where’s the fun in that. I know I’m not always right. But I’d like the discussion.

To have someone who likes to discuss verses someone who likes to argue. That’s the person I can be with. Sometimes I start drama soully to go and see where it takes the relationship. But I’m not in one right now so there’s not much to say.

He told me that he tries not to put too much thought into a relationship or too many standards. I told him that it probably has to do with me being with Lily for so long. That relationship lasted and worked and I screw up. He said he didn’t like going out with  similar people, that way he didn’t know what to expect.

And I said that I understood the feeling but that’s what my week of interest is. I’m ADHD. If that person can’t catch one of my many interest than they’re not in the chance of getting anywhere with me because I want to be with someone who isn’t boring. Not saying that other people are always boring but to entertain me in general.

It’s about to be ten so I’ll be going. I’m going to write until it becomes ten because I can’t stand knowing that I stoped writing at nine fifty nine. And there we go lol. I’ll be updating you guys as everything unravels. Till then.