Condemning Conspiracy

What's All Wrong - Part Five

12.01.2013

I know you don’t want me to cut

But the urge Is just so much

I have so much built down inside me

I don’t know how to get rid of it

There’s so many things wrong with me

But so many things that are right

It balances out

But a knife

Just a quick slit

I’ll feel better

I’ll feel so strife

Physically

I can take any hit

Any bite

Any burn

And cut

So bruise me up

Do it

Because I can take a shit

But once you touch me emotionally

I break down

I melt down

I cry

I scream

I hurt my fist

My words

They become a blue

I hate myself

Anything about me

I’m so talented

I’m not saying that to be conceded

But I can’t choose

What I want to ‘work’

I’m hurting

I know I am

And I know you want to help me get through it

But you’re another reason

Why I don’t want to

Because if you do

Then we’ll stay together

And I don’t know where I’m be in the end

I can tell you one thing though

I have a plan

And I can’t change things

I have my mind set

And no one gets in the way

I want to work things out

But I’m afraid

I’m afraid that it means, no doubt

That we stay together

Which isn’t bad

But

I can’t really say we can

Here’s the thing

I love you

I really do

I can’t say I can’t at this point

But I don’t love me

I never have

You can’t make me

Just as I can’t make you do anything

And I appreciate who I am

But I don’t love me

I’d look up to myself if I wasn’t me

I write

Day after day

Night after night

How to get through

My emotions

This is how I get through it

It’ not easy

I never said it would be

But I can tell you that I’m scared

I want you

But I’m afraid things will work out the same as before

We’ll have an amazing time

But the show will end

And then we must go our separate ways

Darling

I need to know

How to get you to understand

I am your teacher

As well as your boyfriend

But I can only do so much

I get you to smile

I know you don’t want to talk about certain things

But we have to

And this is a problem

This is one of the many things wrong

With me