Counting Stars By The Cliff ||Completed Story||

Chapter 10

Everything was going smooth, everything was going perfect but yet destiny destroyed everything. Even though the feeling of unwanted is still hidden inside of my heart, I tried to push it back so it can no longer affect me. Everyone is already kind to me and I feel so wanted now. But there is still one personal problem.

I dont want myself.

Now that I think of it. I was the one who always thinks Im not good, Im unwanted, but I just mirror those emotions. I dont want myself, I dont want my body, I dont want my fate, I dont want anything in my body except for the passion I have for music.

They say it will actually be a good feeling when youre with your group but I think they are wrong. Its not a good feeling. I feel like an anchor, like Yoongi said, I feel I should die, like the haters said, I feel I should vanish, like what my parents said. It has always been like this. Except for Czimone.

He accepted me for who I am, he loved me for who I am, even though we bicker with each other, I never knew he did that so that he could gain my attention, I never knew he did that because he likes me, and whenever we get into trouble, he always sacrifice himself to the authorities, he has a heart of gold that I can no longer ask anything of him.

Until his death, he sacrificed himself to save me.

Now tell me, do I deserve that kind that kind of love?

"One two three!"

"You got the best of me.."

"Focus, Luna!"

"Jimin! Position yourself properly!"

"Higher, Namjoon!"

"Jin, dont look at the others!"

"Suga, dont look down at your feet!"

"Taehyung too hyper!"

"Jungkook, slower!"

"Jhope, you can do better right?!"

I sighed.

Atleast Im following my heart. Im not afraid to see what my passion leads to. I guess, this is my asset. My only asset.

Creating the path for the future, is it hard? I wonder. Would it be easier if I just come back? I thought.

But it would not hurt to try.

My past has been dugged. And it was shown to me face to face, the past I tried to forget, the past I did not dare to look back even once. But whenever I want to see his face, I want it blurred.

And then I noticed the difference.

Whenever Im with BTS, the image of him is still blurred by I can feel his happiness like its my own, I chose to blur it - no, I ordered my subconcious to blur it. Its definitely wrong to do it, but I cant help myself.

Im afraid if I saw him once again, imagining what he will say me, even in my dreams, that his face arent a blur now...Im certain, that I will kneel and beg for him to come back. Come back for me, come back for us.

I might remember some flashbacks, but all those were a blur, I can only clearly see his body, not his eyes, and I could only hear his voice. God...what am I just gonna do? Czimone, please come back, I want you back, I might lose my mind.

I gasped because of what I just thought. Fuck! I sound desperate, it is very humiliating - thats what others will think - he will never come back anymore, Lunia. Please, just save yourself.

He already taught you his last lesson.

"LUNA! WHAT THE HELL??!!" I flinched at the words thrown to me after the dance practice. Im sorry..