monthly shitpost fic

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"Hey, John, are you okay?" Brock looks over at John from his tiny cabin with big, worried eyes. Tyler, from his spot on Brock's shoulder, waves an arm towards John and opens his mouth to make some sarcastic comment. All that comes out is the sound of bells chiming, and Kryoz laughs.

He falls backwards onto his bed out of exhaustion. "The milky one says to shut your hecking ass up."

Smii7y, above John in the air, twirls around with a new pair of wings. "Ask for the bunny fucker if he eats ass!"

Craig flies out of a bucket. "Don't! He'll drown you!"

"That's... that's not possible," John mumbles. "Luke.. Luke's a mermaid, he doesn't have a dick..."

Luke pops his head out of the lake and glares. "Excuse you?"

John cackles. "You're stupid, Smitty. Mermaids can't eat ass!"

Arms grab John by the leg and yank him into the lake. He cries out for Craig or Smitty to help him, but all he recieves is two confused looks from his floating friends. Luke drags him into the lake, deeper than Kryoz can process.

A splash is faintly heard above. He looks up to see Bryce and Jonathan above them, swimming down. Kryoz tries to call for help, but they say nothing.

Shit. He needs air. Why did he yell?

Luke glares at them. "Why y'all down here?"

They smile, pushing some rocks out of the way to reveal a small cavern underwater. John is thrown in and immediately locked in. He makes a loud, sad sob, the best he can manage, and then bangs against the rock. "Craig! Help me!"

"I'm dead, you twat! Can't help shit!"

Kryoz begins to cry. He cries pathetically, even more so when that weird half-snake half-human thing walks (slithers?) towards him. "Go away, you old FUCKER!"

"Excuse you," the snake scoffs. "I am thirty years old in snail years."

"Snail years?" Smii7y has descended into the cave, and is now flying in circles around the snake. "But you're a snake-"

Kryoz screeches as Bryce lunges out of the water and tackles him, knocking him out instantly.

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Ahahahaha o love shitposting with my own aus!!!!

This is me fucking around with my terrorsnuckle au :')

Also!!! I have a new ohmtoonz book in the works >:)

Also!!! I have a new ohmtoonz book in the works >:)

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Im HYPED for my own shit lmao what a loser

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