angel °

lxxiii. wash

harry and louis both collectively decided to ditch school the next morning and just have a day in together. they both knew that they needed it. after everything that has happened to them over the past couple of months, they needed a break. they decide to go on a date, a picnic date to be exact.

harry was currently in the shower, cleaning his body with his loofa and his favorite cucumber lime body wash. as he was rinsing off, he heard the bathroom door open.

"angel?" louis said with a nervous tone attached, accidentally startling harry nonetheless.

"oh! yes, sunshine?" harry asked, peaking his head out of the shower threw a little crack in the shower curtain.

"you don't have to say yes, i won't be upset, but do you think you'd feel comfortable if i joined you?" louis asked. harry was a little shocked, not that he was uncomfortable, just didn't expect louis to ask that. but he actually was excited about the idea of louis joining him in the shower.

"yes, you can" harry replied with a cheeky smile on his face. he watched as louis undressed, leaving his clothes in the hamper that was next to the sink. this was the first time harry was seeing louis naked and same for louis. harry was a little nervous but he knew he was safe with louis; and he wasn't at all upset over how louis looked naked.

louis opened the curtain just wide enough for him to get himself into the shower, he winced at how hot harry had the water.

"fuck, babe you are burning yourself" louis said over-exaggeratingly, harry didn't even feel as if it was too hot, it felt nice and warm to him.

"it's not even hot, i like hot showers, they are comforting to me." harry said, watching louis turn down the heat.

"i go for cold or slightly warm showers myself, but i'll be alright" louis laughed, getting his hair wet. harry noticed louis looking at him more intently than usual. he liked that.

"here, let me wash your hair for you" harry said, grabbing the shampoo from his shower caddy and squirting someone into his hand; lathering it up before rubbing it into louis' soaking wet hair. he made sure you scrub his scalp but not too hard and not to get any soap into his love's eyes.

"thank you love, you're so beautiful, i just thought i'd let you know that." louis said, as harry washed out the shampoo from his hair. harry said nothing, after all the soap was off of louis, he proceeded to kiss him.

this kiss felt more energetic then their usual kisses, it felt so good, so so good. harry never wanted to stop kissing louis, he felt on fire and he just wanted to feel louis closer to him. it was as if louis read his mind, louis grabbed him by the waist and pulled him close to him, no space was left between them as their kiss began to get more intense. harry loved feeling louis tongue on his as they felt each other's electricity. it felt like nothing harry has ever felt before and he loved it so much.

louis started touching harry, causing little moans to escape harry's mouth threw their kiss. harry started feeling a pit in his stomach and felt as if he couldn't breathe. he pushed himself away from louis, almost falling cause of how fast his movement was. louis looked scared and confused as harry's breathing started being heavy and fast, as if he couldn't catch it. harry couldn't help but feel the pain in his chest and his mind spiral with memories of what had happened to him before. he started crying, louis immediately realized was what happening to harry.

"put your hands over your head love, it's gonna be okay, look at me, it's okay. you're safe. talk to me, what's your name?" louis said, trying to comfort harry and trying to get him to ground himself from his panic attack.

"h-harry edward styles" harry said through his sobs, he looked up and saw louis, making eye contact with his boyfriend.

"name five things you can see right now babe?" louis asked, harry looked around the shower at anything he can put his focus on, it was hard as his head was still rushing.

"you, shower curtain, shampoo, conditioner, water."harry replied and he can feel his heart rate going down a bit as he started focusing on other things then his thoughts.

"four things around you that you can touch?" louis asked.

harry felt the water hitting him still and he shut his eyes but that made all the bad things in his mind become even worse. he started sobbing again.

"come on baby, what are four things around you that you can touch?" louis asked again softly, cupping harry's face. he opened his eyes back up for him.

"the water, the shower floor, the shower curtain, and you." harry replied, louis smiled and nodded.

"good job baby, just keep looking at me and breathing, what are three things you can hear?" louis asked harry, massaging his head and face softly, trying to comfort him.

"the water hitting us, your voice and my voice ." harry replied, calming his breathing but still crying.

"okay good, you're okay baby, now two things you can smell?" louis asked.

"my cucumber lime body wash and the smell of the lavender candle out on the counter next to the sink." harry replied , his tears slowing as well as the thoughts in his brain starting to almost be gone.

"now one more, name one thing that is your favorite taste?" louis said, kissing him on the forehead.

"nutella and banana sandwiches." harry let out a big sigh after saying that. he felt calm and better.

"i'm sorry baby, i didn't mean to trigger you, i didn't know that would happen, but from now on i won't do anything unless you ask me to or you tell me you are one hundred percent comfortable." louis said, kissing him on the forehead again and starting to tear up himself from how bad he felt.

"it's okay, i just wanna lay down for a bit." harry said, kissing louis one more time before getting up and getting out of the shower.

-

hiii. i was locked out of my acc and just got back in !!! thank you guys for 200k like WHAT-

but yeah. sorry it's been literally two years.

but we back.

m.