angel °

lxxii. weak

louis heard the pitter-patter from inside, for some reason he could feel the jitters of anxiety fill his body as he heard the jiggle of the door knob. the door open to harry standing there with a soft smile planted on his pretty face. he wore a white tee shirt and pastel yellow pajama shorts.

as soon as harry saw louis' face, he saw the boy's face drop and he immediately took louis into an embrace. louis held back his need to cry and just wrapped his arms around harry feeling a sense of security and love.

•

louis' body laid flat on harry's carpet, his hands feeling the soft texture of the carpet. he stared up at the ceiling, he heard harry put on music over his speaker from his phone, he put on one of louis' favorite songs. then laid his head next to louis but his body pointing the opposite direction from louis'.

"just talk, let everything out, i want to know everything you are willing to tell me and i want to help you anyway i can. so just talk. don't stop yourself or hold anything back." harry said softly to his boyfriend.

they laid there in silence as louis tried to form all his sentences in his head so he wouldn't cry or get choked up as he spoke.

"i came out to my family. they weren't accepting, mainly my mother's boyfriend and we started fighting and he called me so many names and also physically hurt me. my mother stopped him but then he made her choose between him and i. she choose him. can you fucking believe that shit?" he stopped, feeling a knot form in his throat and tears fill his eyes.

"she chose her stupid boyfriend over me, her son. her own fucking flesh and blood." he felt angry but hurt, so so hurt.

"i wish it didn't matter to me but how can it not, you know? how can something as terrible as your own mother choosing some guy over you not hurt you immensely? how can it not rip your heart out and make you cry? i wish i never did it. i should've know, it's all my fault. it's all my fault, it's all my fault." he stopped as he began cried. he sat up, putting his face to his knees as he tried to muffle himself as he began to sob, letting all of his feelings pour out.

harry's body found it's way next to louis' and he felt harry bring him to lay his head in his lap as he ran his hands through the older boy's hair as a way to calm him. harry shushed him and bent down to kiss his temple.

"it's gonna be okay." harry said softly to louis, his voice soothing louis a bit as he proceeded to speak again.

"i wish i never came out, i wish i didn't feel like this, i wish it could all just stop and let me feel just a moment of ease just for a little bit. i sat outside your house in my car for so long because i didn't want you to see me like this. i didn't want you to worry or see me in such a vulnerable place but i had no where to go, mainly cause i didn't want to see anyone else but you. but at the same time i didn't want to see you because of how weak i feel right now." louis pour out in between broken sobs. he felt harry's other hand rub against his back, trying to soothe him.

"it's okay to be weak, i've had my fair share of weak moments too. it isn't anything to be ashamed of, louis not everyone can be strong all the time. especially with what happened to you, you don't deserve that. no one does. i don't know how it feels to have that type of rejection and i wish i could say something more to help you. but just know that we are gonna make it through this and you can stay here as long as you need, you know that. my mother wouldn't mind, she loves you, gemma loves you, i love you. i love you so much and you don't deserve to feel this pain, especially for something that makes you, you. you are who you are and you love who you love. that doesn't make you a bad person, you are such an amazing and loving person and you've given me so much love and care. and i hope i can give you that back as well during time of pain for you. it's okay to be weak and it's okay to cry and you just need to remember that pain is temporary. this pain won't last forever. i know just me saying all these words and hugging you won't make everything go away because that's not how things work but we will work on our pain and get better together. i promise." harry spoke without a trip of a word, he kissed louis' temple again. louis has stopped sobbing by this time as was laying there, his head still within harry's lap and old tears still on his face. harry's words and voice calmed louis down.

he knew harry was right, completely right. he was going to get through this with harry by his side. no matter how hard he imagined it all to be, he felt okay with just the knowledge of having harry by his side. oh, how he loved that boy.

"i love you." harry said, smiling down at louis as if he had read the feathered haired boy's mind.

"i love you too. so much. thank you." louis replied.

"you don't have to thank me, now do you want to watch a movie? i was thinking of clueless." harry said with a smile on his face, grabbing the remote from his bed and pointing it to his tv.

louis laughed a soft, little laugh. he grabbed harry's hand and gave it a kiss before interlocking it with his own.

-

i have just been so demotivated, i am so sorry for the lack of updates you guys.

thank you for all the support that is still being shown for this book, i'll make it up to everyone.

m.