Her Lost Identity

Her Lost Identity [26] ~ Scary Thoughts

Chapter 26

“Five bucks, please,” Jess ordered Jake, holding her hand out to him.

“What?” I asked, confused. “It would be nice if we had a little privacy, Jess.”

After handing five bucks to Jess, Jake explained, “We had a bet. I bet her five bucks that you guys were having sex. Sadly, I lost.”

“Dude, for real?” Nathan asked, finally getting off me. He sat up on the bed, helping me up afterward so that I was sat beside him. Jake just shrugged.

“I know my best friend, I know Cass wouldn’t go all the way knowing that we’re just across the hall,” Jess giggled proudly.

“Could you two leave us alone?” I asked, annoyed. I was really enjoying my moment with Nate before they had to interrupt because of some silly bet.

“Actually, no. We’re leaving for the ‘port now. We’ve already put mine and your bags in the car,” Jess explained as Jake wrapped his arm around her. “Nate, your mum told us to come tell you that we’re leaving.”

It wasn’t long after that we did actually leave. We were all silent in the car, not saying a word besides the few whispers that Jess and Jake exchanged. I would have spoke, but I was too busy embracing the neighborhood of my childhood as we drove past. Nate noticed it, and nudged my knee and smiled at me.

We got to the airport way too quickly, much faster than I had last remembered the journey. Too fast for my liking.

Loral pulled up in the car park, before unlocking all of the doors before we all got out of the car. Nate took my suitcases, and Jake took Jess’s. We could have taken them ourselves, but they insisted. I guess it was kind of nice.

I took a deep breath before walking toward the airport, realizing that this was really happening. I was leaving Ohio. Knowing that this moment was going to come, I was surprised at how scared and shocked I was.

“Babe, you okay?” Nate asked me discreetly, looking at me as he pulled the suitcases behind him, his tousled hair falling over his forehead with his hair slightly longer than it had been when he came to California.

Looking at him, I said, “Uh, yeah.” I plastered a smile onto my face. “Just a bit nervous.” I tried smiling wider, to assure him I was fine, but it didn’t quite work. Worry flushed over his face as he stopped walking, and put the suitcases down.

“Guys, could you give us a minute?” Nate asked the others hesitantly, nodding at them, as if making up their minds for them. “We’ll meet you guys inside.”

Jess took one of my suitcases whilst Loral had taken my other, claiming that our suitcases needed to be on the plane real soon.

When they had all left, I closed my eyes shut as forcefully as I could, holding back the tears that I could feel coming. I felt strong arms hold me tight, making me feel safe.

“I know this is hard for you, but you’re strong, you will pull through. I promise.” The thought of him sounding like my mother came to my mind almost instantly. That was something she would’ve said. I opened my eyes and looked up at Nathan, whose face seemed off. I could tell this wasn’t easy for him either.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” I told him. “And Nate, the next time I come here, if I do, my mum won’t be here…”

His face expression changed into something more angry, and fiery. “Please, don’t say that. Don’t be upset. Please, it hurts me to know you feel this way,” he told me through clenched jaws. I could see the effect it all had on him – his muscles were tenser than they had been.

“I’m so sorry,” I apologized, my voice becoming wobbly. “It’s just; I don’t know how I’m going to cope without you. You keep me holding on.”

“Don’t apologize. If you need me, call me,” he told me, half smiling.

I managed to smile, and for real this time. Tip-toeing, I planted a kiss on his soft lips, and he returned the gesture, comforting my tongue with his own. After breaking the kiss, Nate pulled me as close as physically possible to him, holding me tightly as my own arms wrapped around his neck, and my head against his broad chest.

***

I took a seat on the plane, opposite to a movie being played on the large screen. We had contacted Jack and Kirsten to get us a better plane, as the first was boring with uncomfortable seats. This was quite nice, but there was something I preferred this time to last – Nate was with us.

Jess had just returned from the toilet before taken her seat beside me, leaning back in the seat, enjoying its comfort. She really was taking this better than I was. As if reading my thoughts, Jess nudged me with her elbow playfully.

“Cheer up,” she said. “We’ll see them again soon.”

Trying to lighten my mood, I told her, “Yup,” popping the P.

I tried to take my focus away from Nate, and that we had just exchanged goodbyes. It came across my mind that the time we’d meet again could be in a long time. My mind had also grown occupied with thoughts like him getting back with Melissa whilst I was gone, or that cute Asian, Nina, that I met in the restaurant.

Shaking my head, attempting to shake away the thoughts, I stared at the screen playing a chick flick that must be new out in the cinemas, because I hadn’t seen it before. Nate wouldn’t do that to me, I told myself.

These were the moments I envied Jess – she didn’t think about things too hard, and make nothing into something, just because she had overthought it.

I think what scared me the most was losing Nate like I did before, all those years ago.

A/N: Really short - I know. I just really needed this updated.