Her Lost Identity

Her Lost Identity [17] ~ The Record Store

Chapter 17

It’s been a week since the night at the party. Jess has been staying at Jake’s house whilst I clear my head about everything, I would sometimes go over there for a few hours to lighten my mood. My mum and I have been having some mother-daughter bonding. It’s feels great when we pretend as if there’s not going to be a tomorrow, because we live life – or what’s left of hers to the fullest.

I’ve also come to accept that my mum will eventually die and that there’s nothing I can do about it. It would be selfish of me to go back to California because I don’t want to be around when she passes. Also, I’ve got to think about how scared she must be, knowing she could die any time soon. She doesn’t show it but I can see it in her eyes, she doesn’t want to die and I think that the more bonding we do, the more scared she gets. But I can also see her need of me in her eyes, too.

Nathan’s called me all day yesterday and the days before that, ever since the party. He hasn’t called today because I turned my phone off; I’m not going to let him get in the way of why I actually came here – to support my mother. Also, I’m not going to let him back in to hurt me, again. Besides, it’s too late for his calls because he had the weeks before that to call me.

I’ve completely changed my mind about Jake; he’s actually quite the nice guy. I’m not going to lie, I still believe he’s a player and what not, I still believe when we leave, he’ll find another girl other than Jess but I’m pretty sure she’s aware of that too. He’s genuinely nice and he doesn’t at all seem like he’s using Jess either. Also, he’s been great comfort about the whole Nathan situation, both him and Jess.

“Lilian,” my mum called out from downstairs. I hopped down the stairs and in to the living room, where my mum was. “I’m going to the record store for some of my old favourites.”

“Oh, I could come?” I half asked. I didn’t want her walking around town by herself.

“Sure,” she said, picking up her back before ushering me out the door.

When we arrived at the record store, I was amazed by how big it was. I mean, I assumed it would be a tiny shop on a side road with an old man behind the counter. But no, it was rather huge. There was a girl who looked as if she were in her early twenties with black, almost blue hair with curls which passed her hip. She smiled at my mother and me as we walked inside the shop. Something that was as I expected was that it empty. There were people in the shop but it was empty, nonetheless.

I left my mum in the classical isle; she told me that she was looking for something to be played at her funeral. It was surprising that there were so many different types of records, big ones, small ones, yellow ones, pink ones, stripy ones and spotty ones all in the same shop. I was pushed out of gaze as someone bumped in to me, causing me to shuffle to the side a bit.

“Oh, sorry,” a soft, high pitched voice said. I turned to face her, it was Melissa. Her vibrant red hair covered half her face. “Lily...”

“Um, hey Melissa,” I greeted, awkwardly as she tucked her hair behind her ear. It was awkward because I sort of stole her boyfriend. I mean, they were over but I’m sure if I wasn’t around, they may have got back together. “I’m just picking up some records with my mum.”

“How’s Nate?” she asked me, her eyes looking dry as if she had been crying.

“Uh, I don’t know, sorry,” I apologised. It was true, I didn’t know exactly how he was doing accept he kept calling me.

“Aren’t you two together or something?” she asked, playing with her fingers. I felt sorry for her; I had pulled Nathan away from her grasp only to drip him.