white boys (river phoenix)

27

hey guysss!! so i have two songs for this chapter. one is 'every man gets his wish' by lana del rey, the other is 'human behavior' by bjork. i'm going to link the videos to these songs at some point throughout the chapter. i literally listened to lana while writing the scene where they're at johnny rockets and bjork while they're at dennis' house... so if you wanna better reading experience listen to those at those points!!!!

Chapter Twenty Seven

(Thursday). Today was it, the day Robin had been dreading all week. Since her last encounter with Dennis, she'd put on a happy face so her friends - especially River - wouldn't get worried and ask questions. She did not want to be put up on. No matter how much she smiled and laughed and winked and wood and buzzed and chirped, she could feel the confession spilling up her throat like bile. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to find out. So, she kept swallowing it down, refreshing her worn out smiles with another one.

Last period was slowly approaching and slowly swallowing her up. She was being sucked into the vortex of her own mind and its extensive, hallucinatory thoughts. She wanted nothing more than for the day to be over. Even then, when the school day was over, she'd still have to find a way to zip out of there and make some bull excuse for River and her other friends, and have to discreetly leave the premises with Dennis. In Dennis' roaring, fast car which everyone noticed. She felt like she was a celebrity trying to devise a plan for escaping the heat of the paparazzi, not wanting to have to deal with the evasive questions from reporters, or worse, being exposed.

She walked through the halls while chewing pink bubblegum which had lost its sugary taste in her mouth. She rapidly walked and kept her hands in fists at her sides, her eyes seeming to only be able to focus in on the rush of students coming in towards her and around her. Everything seemed to be moving in fast motion around her and her eyes flickered from here to there. Panicked, she hummed a tune to herself, the sweat breaking down her forehead, her nails digging into the flesh of her hands.

"Hey!" River cried out, breaking her spaced out bubble.

She nearly gasped as she turned to him, and her vision focused.

"Hi!" she exclaimed too loudly, and smiled too wide.

He smiled back and hugged softly at her waist, then let go.

"You ready for another half assed English class?" Robin began to laugh hysterically, rocking her head back and forth. River chuckled softly along with her, and when he stopped, he realized she hadn't. She was laughing so hard, her face growing so red, it looked as though she might burst. Tears were threatening to stream down her face by how hard she was straining it. He made a face, confused. "You okay?"

Robin opened her mouth to respond, and her gum went down the wrong tube, making her gasp for air as she choked on the flavorless glob of gum that she had unwisely added pieces to as the day went on. She patted at her chest as they both turned the corner that led to the open door to English class, and it slipped down after that.

"I'm fine!"

"You sure? You just choked-"

"I know!" she yelled, sounding more angry than peppy like she had intended to sound. Then, her eyes went glossy and she smiled sort of loopily. "I'm fine."

The tables in class were set back up normally. River and Robin sat at the table they sat at with Feldman and Corey while other students filed in. Robin had her arms folded and she was still smacking at her gum, her eyes looking down at the gray table. River rattled on and on about the class and what was on the whiteboard, oblivious to the fact that Robin was paying him no attention. She wasn't even trying to pretend that she was listening to him, but he just kept going anyway, sitting sideways in his chair, only one side of his face pointing in Robin's direction.