white boys (river phoenix)

15

Chapter 15

Unsurprisingly, Robin was a wreck at six A.M. the next day (Wednesday.) She hadn't fallen asleep until twelve in the morning because she kept waking up lying in sweat after she'd have the same dream that she was kissing River. Except, this dream was more like a nightmare. She kept envisioning River leaning in to kiss her, and the minute his lips landed on her's, she was transported into an all-too familiar classroom as a circle of white people surrounded her, some of them laughing so hard that they were on the floor. It reminded her too much of the boy that had driven her mother to a ban on contact with white boys.

"Robin, you're going to be late, hurry up! Breakfast is getting cold!" Robin's mother called out from downstairs.

Robin was halfway dressed. Her hair was a mess, and she was wearing a shirt and a blazer, but was missing her pants, staring into her closet in her underwear. The time on her alarm clock read: "6:35" and Robin knew she'd be late if she didn't scarf down all her breakfast by six fifty. So in a rush, she put on her pants and shoes and stuffed her hair into the messiest ponytail you had ever seen. The bags under her eyes were evident as she'd been unable to sleep for practically the entire night, keeping her eyes peeled so that she wouldn't dream that same dream again.

"Christ," she muttered to herself, tying the shoelace on her shoe for the second time.

"Robin!" Her father then called.

Robin groaned, but mustered up enough courage to walk out of her room, down the stairs and into the kitchen. She tread her feet against the kitchen floor and lazily grabbed her plate of food off of the kitchen table. She was uncaring for the pieces of fruit and bacon that fell onto the floor. The first thing her mother asked was,

"Oh my god, Robin, are you high?"

Robin scoffed, nearly slamming the plate of food down on the table,

"No. God mom, I stayed out past curfew, I didn't get caught in a drug dealing ordeal."

"'Didn't get caught' are the key words, Leslie," Robin's father joked, and Robin managed to crack a smile and playfully roll her eyes at him as she stuck a piece of bacon into her mouth and tore a bit off with her teeth.

"You are so helpful, dad," Robin remarked sarcastically.

"It's my specialty."

"Really, Robin. You look sick," Robin's mother put a hand up to Robin's forehead even when she leaned against the kitchen counter.

"Mom, I'm fine, just a little tired," Robin breathed out through her nostrils.

"Well, you need a ride to school, and we've got work in a little while, so hurry on up with that food."

Robin forced a strawberry from off the plate into her mouth and then cringed as she swallowed it. She pushed the plate away,

"I'm not really that hungry, mom. And I can drive myself today with your car. Plus today I have the earliest lunch, I'm sure I'll find something to eat."

But it dawned upon Robin that the Coreys and River wouldn't have lunch with her every day, and that she needed a lot more friends if she didn't want to be lonely at lunch. She was sure that a new friend would be easy to find what with all her newfound recognition for doing what she did to Dennis, but she didn't want to meet another Stacey. However, "Staceys" were pretty rare in the group of high schoolers Robin was shoved into. That's why Stacey was considered one of a kind.

Instead of driving, Robin walked to school and she sort of wished she hadn't been so early. River was one to be situated in the halls during the time the students had before school, and although Robin didn't want to avoid him, she didn't necessarily want to advance things with River either. Of course she liked him, she knew that she did. The self denial had turned into a deep feeling in her gut- that everything was right, but at the same time everything was wrong. She knew River would be disappointed, but it wasn't like he hadn't ever faced disappointment in his entire seventeen years of living.