17BLACK

Chapter 41

Louis' POV:

"Aaron's party is tonight," I say to an unresponsive Harry. I've been talking to him for nearly an hour and I've still not managed to get anything out of him.

This doesn't change anything. At least he has moved from the edge of the counter to a seat at the table.

"Do you still want to go?" I find myself actually wanting to go to Aaron's party, despite my past reviews of the festivities. I think that it will be fun to go to a party with Harry. You know, one where he isn't dancing on other guys half naked.

He shakes his head. It's a start.

"I'm sorry Harry," I repeat for the thousandth time. I'm beginning to get frustrated. "Okay? I'm terribly sorry and if I could take it back I would in a heartbeat but I can't and mopping around like this isn't going to make it go away."

I push the chair I was leaning on to the ground in anger. I'm angry too, I thought my first time with Harry would be one that I could at least remember. He jumps and I am regretfully satisfied that I startled him.

"Since you're obviously not going to do anything anytime soon I'm going to take a shower. I still plan on going." I wait for him to say something.

When he doesn't I turn around on my heel and storm into the bathroom, not noticing Harry's hunched shoulders and his head in his hands as I walk away from him.

Harry's POV:

I lay my head in my hands and bite my lip. It shouldn't feel like this. I should be happy to finally be free of my virginity. But I'm not. I should be happy to have lost it to Louis. But I'm not. I haven't even known him for a month and I've already given myself to him.

It sucks, feeling like this. And to make it worse I have a consistent pain in my arse.

I hear the shower turn on and I sigh. It's not that I don't like Louis, but I don't like him nearly enough to give my virginity to him.

His shower goes on for at least thirty minutes, and I wonder if he has ran all of the hot water out. I'm still in the same place when he enters the kitchen again.

I hear him exhale lazily, like a disappointed parent that has to pick up their child from the office because they were drawing on the walls. Except I'm almost certain that it's himself that he's disappointed in.

I squeeze my eyes shut and am surprised when I feel Louis' hand in my hair. He starts at the nape of my neck and then moves up to the front curls that occasionally get in my eyes.

"I'm sorry Harry," he says again.

"I'm sorry Harry," Louis whispers as his free hand rubs my chest for comfort. I whimper as he pushes his finger deeper into me and as his lips brush my ear.

"You've never been fingered before have you?" He gasps and I push my lips out to his desperately. I shake my head.

"No... You're the- Ah a little too far Lou - first one." I bite my lip and try ignoring the pain in my bum. He lays back into the soft mattress and I'm forced to follow. I'm turned away from him and he has his leg tossed over my side, a position that I'm used to, and his cold hand is pressed to my most sensitive area. His finger to be precise.

"I like that. That I'm the only one to see you like this." I can almost imagine the grin plastered to his face as he says so.

"Harry?" Louis nudges my shoulder. "You okay?" He asks.

I feel his hand - the same cold hand from my... whatever that was - press to my forehead.

"You're burning up. Have you eaten anything?" I hear footsteps and then the curiosity is eating at me, so I turn around.