Love You Enough

Poet In My Heart

Stevie had to be back in the studio. There was pressure from the label to get her in despite their tragedy and she wasn't coping well. The album was taking even longer than expected and pushed far past their deadline. The band's antics had made this the most expensive album in rock history thus far. Setback after setback and the label had, had enough.

She entered the booth wrapped in a large floor length black shawl with her matching black layers hanging lifelessly beneath. Her make up was dark and careless and her eyes were constantly filled with tears. Her light was gone. She was drunk, maybe even a little high, having gone back to coke to numb her pain. Her son was on her mind at all times. He would be seven months old soon. How could he still be missing? How could no one find him? How could the police do nothing? Where were the people looking for her baby? She had dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep and malnutrition. She was slipping below one hundred pounds now and her bones were beginning to show. She was gaunt and her skin was sallow. She was becoming such an unearthly version of herself. The music flowed out of her headphones and she couldn't even sing, she starting crying immediately. Mick cut the music and let Lindsey comfort her.

"Baby, you have got to try. One good take and we can leave"

"I wrote this when I was pregnant with our son." She says in an unintentional whisper. "The cassette tape you kept begging me to let you listen to, S. It's Sara."

"Oh, Stephanie...."

"Every time I try to sing it, I remember him. He was so safe, tucked away in my belly and no one could hurt him. No one even knew about him except me when I wrote this song and I prayed one day I would get to sing this to our baby. I thought he was a girl and he's obviously not but...." She barely took a breath in order to get her words out but she eventually began to sob again.

"Shhhh" he soothed. "He will come back to us" he said.

"What if he doesn't? What if he's gone f-forever and I have to live with this h-hole in m-my heart?" She stammers, her bottom lip quivering uncontrollably.

"Don't you think about that. It won't happen. He will come back"

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I believe if there is anyone or anything up there, they're looking out for him and will guide him home. We waited our lives for that little boy."

She nods, pressing herself into his chest. "I need him to come home. He's going to be a big brother" Her tears become much more forceful, her chest heaving as she tries to catch her breath. He pulled himself away from her, holding onto her shoulders. He looked at her, his eyes staring straight into her soul and she backpedals. "I'm sorry, I, I'm not thinking."

"Leo's going to be a big brother" he repeats without the hint of a question in his voice at all. The pieces were falling together.

She nods. "I'm p-pregnant" she sobs.

"Oh, honey...we've just had the baby and you're pregnant again? We haven't even made it through the record." He says, thinking aloud and it only makes her cry more. "I love you so much, Steph. I am not saying this to hurt you but you know you shouldn't be doing any drugs or drinking right now" His embrace tightens, stroking her hair.

"I can't stop, Lindsey. It hurts too much" she says.

"You have got to be healthy. What would Leo think if something happened to his baby brother or sister? I know he would love them right away and we have to keep them safe just for him"

"I miss my baby"

"I know, I do too but we will find him and he will be home. Let's dry those tears and try and make it through this song. One take, honey. That's it."

"Okay"

He leaves the booth and lets her gain some sort of composure. She breathes, trying to calm herself enough to sing. Lindsey sits down at the sound board and watches her. She nods, signaling that she's ready and he feeds the track back through.

Wait a minute baby
Stay with me awhile
Said you'd give me light
But you never told me about the fire

Drowning in the sea of love
Where everyone would love to drown
But now it's gone
It doesn't matter what for
When you build your house
Then call me home

And he was just like a great dark wing
Within the wings of a storm
I think I had met my match, he was singing
And undoing, and undoing the laces
Undoing the laces

Said Sara, you're the poet in my heart
Never change, never stop
But now it's gone
It doesn't matter what for
But when you build your house
Then call me home

Hold on
The night is coming and the starling flew for days
I'd stay home at night, all the time
I'd go anywhere, anywhere, anywhere
Ask me and I'm there, yeah
Ask me and I'm there, I care

In the sea of love
Where everyone would love to drown
But now it's gone
They say it doesn't matter anymore
When you build your house
Then please call me home

Sara, you're the poet in my heart
Never change, and don't you ever stop
Now it's gone
No it doesn't matter anymore
When you build your house
I'll come by

Sara
Sara

He saw tears in her eyes and the way she sang from her heart made him cry too. Her song had brand new meaning and there was a painful, terrible truth to her words. When the music stopped she came out of the booth, begging for his approval wordlessly.

"Beautiful job, honey" he says, kissing her head.

"Thank you, Lindsey"

"You can go home, Stevie" Christine says. "I'm sorry we had to bring you in. Lindsey can work on part of this another time. We will cut and arrange it all for you and you don't have to worry about a thing"

"Thank you. That means a lot."

"Take care of yourself" Mick says.

"I will" Stevie says, touching her stomach. She would not show for some time but she felt a connection already. Lindsey was right, she has to keep her strength up so she can keep fighting for her son.