Blue Moon - SEQUEL to Renesmee's Story (A Twilight Fan Fiction)

Chapter 14- Part 2

Renesmee's POV~

"Only a week until your birthday now!" Eric says with glee as we sit in my room looking through old photos due to boredom. 

I shudder automatically at the thought of my birthday. 

"Aren't you looking forward to it? Just because you've stopped ageing doesn't mean you cannot celebrate your birthday." 

"No, it's not that, it's just . . ." my words are lost in a memory from when I was held captive. I vividly remember the beatings and abuse I copped while locked away, not having enough blood to heal quick enough so each blow, each hit and every push gave me excruiating pain... so much pain... I felt like I was literally going to die. 

"Renesmee?!" Eric says, his voice panic stricten. "You're not there, you're safe, remember? Open your eyes." 

I open my eyes and Eric slouches, now relaxed. "You were full on shaking as if . . ."

I watch his expression, confused. "What?" I ask. 

"You were shaking, literally. Eyes closed, I was so worried you wouldn't respond," he replies, shaking his head. He stares at me, not even blinking. Studying my figure as if it'll happen any second now. 

"Oh... I had a... really vivid memory." 

"You are dealing with some major P.T.S.D."

"P.T what?" 

"P.T.S.D. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Memories of the event as if it's still happening? Not being able to move on from it? That's P.T.S.D."

"Oh . . . I guess I will eventually, it still seems so current to me."

"I'm guessing it being close to your birthday is making you remember when you were taken?"

I nod. "Yeah."

"Well it won't happen this year. You are going to have a great party which will be ingrained into your memory for other reasons." 

"I hope so."

"No hope needed. I know so." 

I smile and turn my head slightly to the side as I look at Eric. He smiles back and looks down at some of the other pictures. 

I'm not paying any attention to the photos but the first one I decide to look at which Eric is holding is one from when I was about four, from Carlisle's educated guesses and the person holding me is Jacob. I'm hanging onto his back, my arms wrapped securely around his neck while we're both smiling. 

It's scary how clearly I remember that when I was only four, but when you think about it wasn't actually that long ago, only a few years. 

Eric quickly places it upside down on my bed and grabs another, probably thinking I wasn't looking and that's how I let it stay. The memory consumes my thoughts and I smiile in spite of myself. Just because there has been dark times recently doesn't mean the past is bad. I have had many good times and memories with Jacob that are impossible to erase.

"What are you smiling about?" Eric asks, breaking me from the memory.

"Nothing," I reply, thinking against telling him.

I know there's still feelings for Jake that I have to resolve as nothing can happen now, but that doesn't mean I have to give Eric's attention to it also. 

I hadn't looked at these pictures since way before I got taken so of course there would be pictures of Jacob still in it. I didn't even think of that fact when I grabbed them out for something to do to kill some time. I have thought of something that I most definitely have to do, I have to contact Jacob, we have to talk about this and I have to remain calm. But how can I go about this without pulling attention to it from Eric or anyone else for that matter?