Blue Moon - SEQUEL to Renesmee's Story (A Twilight Fan Fiction)

Chapter 13- Part 2

Renesmee's POV~

I stare straight ahead at nothing in particular as Eric starts the car and begins heading  back to my home and his temporary home while he stays in Forks. I bite down hard on my lip and close my eyes, trying to control that dark flame that is beginning to ignite within my chest. I know I don't have the need to breathe but I feel my chest rising and falling quite fast with breath. 

"Relax, Renesmee," I murmur under my breath to myself. 

The spark is completely ignited and my hand reaches for the handle of the car to open the door. 

"Renesmee," Eric warns and I hear him lock the door from his side. "Don't do anything irrational, speak to me, tell me how you feel, it may help."

I can't speak, I try to think what I need to to him but nothing will send across. Eric keeps driving home as I fight the invisible battle within me, trying to keep myself here in the seat and not lunging out of the car and running back to finish off Jacob Black. 

Eric is bent down on his knees looking up at me with the passenger door open before I realise the car has actually stopped and we are back home. 

"Renesmee?" Eric asks, his voice sounding far away even though I know he is right beside me.

I stare straight ahead, my hands clenched into fists while I try to relax, to kill off the feelings I am now feeling. We were just at a funeral for god sake! I should be feeling sad, not this way. What is wrong with me . . . 

"Renesmee?" Eric says again, his voice sounding more and more urgent every time he repeats my name. "Renesmee, talk to me, look at me even, anything, please."

He has tried to get a reaction for a while I guess but I'm immobile, not moving, not saying a thing. 

I won't kill Jacob Black, I think to myself, completely determined to remain true to that promise to myself. I won't do anything rash without thinking it through about this, I need to remain in control. 

I suddenly stand up and run out of the car, unlocking the front door and running down to the basement, knowing I need to get away to where I cannot exit easily like, for example, a car outside. 

I hear the basement door open but my head is buried in my hands while I stand in the furthest corner away from the door. Eric is immediately at my side after the door opened. 

"I can't, I need to go back there," I say through a locked jaw. I bite my bottom lip hard again before I can say anything more. 

"Look at me, Renesmee." Due to me not looking up Eric repeats it again. "Renesmee, look at me." 

I drop my hands and raise my head. Eric's eyes widen in what appears to be utter shock as he looks at me. "Renesmee, your lip, you-"

I raise my hand to my lip and feel something wet around my bottom lip and on my chin. I pull my hand away and see blood. I guess I was biting my lip harder than I thought. Eric pulls out a tissue from his pocket and wipes my chin rid of all the blood. Of course after the blood is cleared and I stop biting my lip it heals immediately. 

"I won't let you hurt him, you won't hurt him Renesmee. Trust me," Eric says, looking at me right in the eyes as I look back into his. 

"I can't-"

"Trust me," Eric says again and I find myself nodding even though I don't feel like that is all it will take for me to stop with this feeling within. I watch him, trying to think of something to distract myself and without even thinking of it I raise my arms from my sides and place my hands on both of Eric's cheeks, following this action with me leaning in to kiss him.