Walking Down Memory Lane

Saying Goodbye

Dumbledore apparated back to his office and sent an owl to Severus asking him to meet him at a church close to Spinners End. He sat in his office shuffling threw paperwork and talking to Fawkes until the owl returned with the message from Severus agreeing to meet with him. Dumbledore kept himself busy until late afternoon when it was time to meet Severus.

He apparated to the church to find Severus sitting on the steps sobbing. Dumbledore walked over and sat beside the devastated young man, he gently patted his back and let Severus compose himself.

When Severus managed to form a sentence he looked at Dumbledore with his swollen puffy eyes and asked "Did she die?"

Dumbledore gave a small sad smile and said "No, Lily's wounds have closed she will be fine. We are still waiting on her to wake. I brought you here because I need to tell you what I've done and I need your word that you will never tell her what I've done. Its whats best for her."

Severus looked shocked and confused "What did you do to her?"

Dumbledore stood and asked Severus to walk with him, as they walked he told Severus what had transpired that morning and why he decided to do so. "Severus I know this is hard to understand but its best for you both. She doesn't have to mourn the loss and she will not seek you out, which will keep both of you safe from Voldermort." Dumbledore said finally looking Severus in the face.

Severus was feeling a mix of emotions. Dumbledore had erased the memory of what would be her only child, their child, the only good thing Severus had done was now gone. Severus understood that it would be easier on Lily because she could never miss what she never knew she had, it still hurt that she would never remember being a mother in any fashion. Severus finally looked at Dumbledore and agreed he had done the right thing then asked "Why did you bring me here of all places? Why bring me back to our childhood home?"

Dumbledores face fell as he looked over to the fresh heap of dirt with a blank headstone. "I brought you here so you could say goodbye to your son and give him a name. He needs to have at least one parent who knows where he is and he needs a name."

Severus followed Dumbledores stare, when his eyes reached the blank headstone he went rigid he looked to Dumbledore taking all the strength he had to hold himself together and said "Thank you. I appreciate all you have done. I hope one day I can redeem myself of what I've done. Can I please be alone with him?"

Dumbledore nodded his head and looked at Severus with such sadness and said "Severus you are a good man who has made some bad choices, that doesn't make you a bad man. Should you ever need me you know where I am." A few steps and a crack later Severus was alone.

He walked timidly to the tiny grave and fell to his knees crying and screaming into the air begging and pleading with anyone listening to not let this be real.

When Severus managed to pull himself together he sat beside his sons tiny grave and started talking to him. He told him how much he was loved, how sorry he was, and how much he wished he could change that day so long ago.

Severus fell silent trying to think of a name for his only son, he wondered what the child would have looked like, would he have red hair or black, would he have Lily's beautiful eyes or his dark ones, would he have Lily's caring nature and his talents? A single tear rolled down his cheek as he knew he'd never have answers to these questions because he himself was the reason he would never see his child alive. I created this child and I ended this child, one in love and the other in anger.

"Gods I wish I were dead! I don't deserve to live!" he screamed at the sky.

Severus sat at the little grave trying to think of the perfect name for the baby Lily would never know, he knew muggle names but that wouldn't do, not for his son. He had learned several languages, as he ran through several languages in his mind a small smile appeared on his face. He had found the perfect name. He took out his wand and pointed it at the small grave and the words were magically engraved into the concrete headstone:

Eros Siempre Snape
November 2, 1977-November 2, 1977
Our hearts still ache in sadness,
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you,
no one will ever know.

Severus smiled at the tiny headstone with tears streaming down his face. He conjured a beautiful bouquet of lilies as he laid the flowers by the headstone he quietly said "Goodnight sweet prince. I'll see you soon. Please forgive me." Severus composed himself and turned to walk away, with a crack he was gone.

AN: The baby's name is Greek and Spanish. It roughly translates to
"Love Always Snape"