Unsaid Words (A Larry Stylinson Fanfiction)

Letter 23 - Music

Dear Harry,

I got given my ipod back today. It was strange seeing it again, I spent hours sitting and scrolling through the pictures of me and you on it. There were the odd photos of you asleep, and a few of me. There was all of your birthday photos, and photos from when you were younger. It made me happy just looking back through them, when I get home I want to get these photos printed off and made into a collage or something. Something that I can just look at and remember all the good things straight away. I then moved onto my music and listened to some of the songs I had, Mcfly, Arctic Monkeys, everyone. But then I landed on one song, one specific song that made me bawl my eyes out. It was the song you wrote for me, do you remember it? 'Don't let me go.'

I had it on replay, just listening to your voice gave me more and more hope. I was so happy listening to you singing, I always loved your singing voice. I'm listening to the song right now, and it's making me tingle. Your voice is so soothing, it calms me when I feel upset or feel like I can't do this anymore. However I haven't had that feeling for ages, I actually have hope inside of me. and it's a great feeling. I know how you felt know, I can feel the hope you had inside of you for me, and I love it. I love feeling happy about myself, it never usually happens. So feeling it makes me happy, I'm proud to wear short sleeved tops now Harry. Remember when I never used to wear them? I'd always be in long sleeved tops or baggy jumpers. I'm not now though, I've been in short sleeved tops for around two weeks and I couldn't be happier. Of course there's scars but everybody else on my ward has them too, we've all been through the same experiences and we're proud to show that we're recovering. Some of us are still finding it a little hard to cope, but I'm not. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I'm ready to leave this place with my head held high.

The only thing that makes me sad is not being able to see you, I've received a message from you and I can listen to you singing. I just wish I could see you, your beautiful curls and emerald green eyes, framed by your long eyelashes. I just miss it, your super skinny jeans and tour tops ripped in the odd space. Not to mention your boots, your very very old boots. I still don't get why you wont buy a new pair, but I guess we all have reasons behind our decisions. I miss seeing your inked body, the tattoos that mesmerised me every time I saw them. My favourite tattoos are the butterfly, because they represent such strong and beautiful creatures. And your 'Things I can' and 'Things I can't' tattoos, the words inspire me in some way. I'm not sure why but I just love reading them over and over again.

I'm going to leave the letter here now, I'm going to play cards with Jim and Ross, they're two new guys that have joined. They have depression but they're really cool. Miss and love you lots.

Louis x x

p.s I cant wait to sing my song for you when I get out of here, love you.x